


In Darkness Dwell

by thealphagate_archivist



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Adult Content, Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-24
Updated: 2006-03-24
Packaged: 2019-02-02 15:30:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 39,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12729270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thealphagate_archivist/pseuds/thealphagate_archivist
Summary: After changing universes to find Daniel again, Jack must determine what happened to his lover during an off-world diplomatic mission that resulted in Daniel losing his sight.





	In Darkness Dwell

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the archivists: this story was originally archived at [The Alpha Gate](https://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Alpha_Gate), a Stargate SG-1 archive, which began migration to the AO3 in 2017 when its hosting software, eFiction, was no longer receiving support. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are this creator and it hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Alpha Gate collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/thealphagate).

  
Author's notes: Warnings: Language. Graphic m/m sex. Death of a child. Child abuse.  


* * *

Jack awoke slowly, with something tickling his chin. There was a strange warmth that nudged his sleepy mind into realizing he wasn't alone in bed, and then he remembered. He smiled, using his body to tell him what position his lover was in, since he couldn't look down to see. Daniel's head was right under his chin, cheek resting against Jack's throat, Daniel's long hair clinging to Jack's beard stubble and making his face itch.

Daniel was lying on his side, hands drawn up under his chin; body curved in a relaxed fetal position, with one of his legs between Jack's, the other pressed up against his thigh. The older man had his upper arm around Daniel's back, the lower lying on the bed in the tiny space between their bodies. Jack smiled wider, thinking this was Heaven. He'd gone through the quantum mirror after the Daniel in his universe died, seeking... just this. This was a second chance, a beginning for both of them.

God had smiled on them.

He started to say another prayer of thanks but the alarm on the nightstand went off. Daniel's head came up fast and banged into Jack's chin. Seeing stars and rolling onto his back, Jack clutched his face, waiting for the pain to ease while Daniel scrambled to his knees and blurted a stream of apologies. 

"I'm okay," Jack assured him, pushing Daniel's fluttering hands away and tapping the snooze button to shut off the jangling noise of the alarm. "Jeez, just try to remember you're not alone anymore, okay, Danny?" 

"Jack, I'm so..." 

"Shut!" O'Neill demanded, frowning. Those worried blue eyes softened his momentary grouchiness and Jack smiled. "C'mere, you." He wiggled fingers at his lover, reaching out with open arms. Daniel came eagerly into them and Jack just held him, luxuriating in the feel of Daniel's body plastered against his, arms entwined around his back. They were sticky and sweaty and smelled of stale sex, and Jack thought it was wonderful. "I haven't told you how much I love you today. That's how we need to start our days from now on, Daniel."

"I keep wondering when I'm going to wake up and find out this was all just a dream," Daniel whispered against his neck. "I hope I never do."

"Yeah. Me, too. Love you, Danny." Jack's chin was still smarting, but numbed by the joy making his whole body tingle. He felt another tingle and looked down as his lover took notice, too. Daniel started to slide downward and Jack was about to let him when he remembered where that part of his anatomy had been the previous night. He caught at Daniel's shoulder. "Hey, wait. I should wash first."

Daniel turned, his eyes heavy lidded with desire. "I don't mind," he said softly, then blushed and dropped his gaze to Jack's chest. "I love you, Jack. All of you, without reservation."

"Let's go shower together," Jack suggested happily. After a long, slow, sweet kiss they untangled from each other and rose to start their day. When they were clean and satisfied inside and out, Daniel started to work on his hair while Jack headed into the kitchen to make coffee.

Only there was no coffeemaker. He'd forgotten that the Daniel in this universe didn't drink the stuff though Jack was determined to get him to learn to like it. There was just something innately wrong with a completely decaffeinated Daniel Jackson. He searched through the cabinets till he found a well-hidden, dusty jar of instant coffee and decided that would have to do. He started the water boiling in a pan, put out a cup and spooned some of the instant into it.

By the time the hair dryer shut off Jack had finished his first cup and had just made a second. He strolled into the bathroom, studying the younger man as he brushed his long chestnut mane, still naked as a babe. Daniel put his back to his lover, self-conscious and Jack's eyes swept over the other scars, the ones he hadn't seen last night before they made love for the first time. 

He'd have to go slowly, work up to the conversation about how and when Daniel got all those scars. Some of them were in places and patterned in such a way that Jack remembered them, duty scars from missions they'd been on together. Except that this Daniel had been with the other Jack then. That Jack probably hadn't ever seen any of those old scars. Probably wouldn't have cared to ask about them if he had.

They meant something to this Jack O'Neill. He wanted someone to pay. He turned away and hunted for the blue jumpsuit he'd discarded the previous night. Getting dressed took seconds and he returned to the bathroom to borrow Daniel's brush to tame his hair, still slightly damp and sticking up all over his head. "Hammond's coming to size me up today and I gotta look good," he observed to his lover with a smile and a wink. "Think we'll have time to stop off at Supply and get me some fatigues?"

"I'll hurry," Daniel returned with a smile. In short order he was dressed and brushing his teeth, bending over the sink to spit. 

O'Neill eyed that ass, completely covered in fresh khakis. Inspiration struck. Totally, irresistible, impish inspiration. Jack grabbed that beautiful butt with both hands, leaving huge wet handprints on the cloth. Daniel squealed, spit toothpaste all over the mirror, the sink, the counter and his taupe shirt.

"Dammit, Jack!" he bubbled, reaching for a towel. He wiped his face and glared. "Now I have to change clothes. You're making me late. I hate being late."

"Oh, so you're punctual as well as caffeine-free?" Jack teased. "Gee, I don't know if I can get used to a Daniel that pure. Good thing you're not a virgin, too. That would just be way too much to deal with." He swung in for a quick peck on the freshly wiped lips and swerved away, neatly avoiding the cuff Daniel aimed at him.

"Brat," the archaeologist growled.

"Sexy," Jack shot back. "You know, I came here with pretty much Air Force issue everything." He watched the younger man return to the closet. "I gotta get some clothes and stuff since I'm gonna be living in this universe. Can I borrow some money till I start getting paychecks? That is, if you have any. I know in my universe, Dr. Jackson got paid a helluva lot more than me, which was okay because he deserved it. I'm just not sure about, well, a lot of things in this universe."

"Sure. We'll go shopping tonight," Daniel agreed, returning to his closet to find fresh clothes, "but I leave on a diplomatic mission tomorrow. I should be gone about three days or so."

Jack stopped fidgeting and looked up, suddenly worried. "Can I come, too?"

"You don't go off-world until the new administration approves it," Daniel reminded him. "They're still not sure what to make of you returning from the dead, as it were, or this alternate universe stuff. Though I must say, Sam's positively quivering with anticipation. She spent all of yesterday while you were being interrogated, looking at that mirror thing but couldn't make it work."

Jack examined his fingernails, slightly embarrassed. "Uh, yeah, well, see, there's a controller. I have it. Or rather, it's in my quarters on the base, unless they've searched it by now."

Daniel turned to look at him, suddenly very still, a blue-and-white- checkered shirt in his hands. "You had it with you? Why?"

Guilt tugged a little at Jack's heart. He crossed the room and put his hands on Daniel's bare shoulders. "I had to make sure this was where I needed to be. If it wasn't, I was heading back to the mirror." He brushed Daniel's long hair out of his eyes. "I told you last night this wasn't the first universe I visited, looking for you. I was prepared to keep looking." He smiled. "Now I don't have to look any more. Carter can have the controller and I'll even show her how to work it, but I'm not goin' through the mirror again. I found what I needed right here."

He leaned down and kissed Daniel, brushing his lips lightly against those sweet, sexy ones. His hands moved up into that long mane and he cradled Daniel's face, pulling him closer, kissing deeper. When he drew away, Daniel's eyes were sparkling with unbridled joy. Jack felt it all the way to his toes and sighed.

Daniel laughed softly against his face, a mint-scented breeze. "I could get addicted to this, you know." He licked his lips and glanced at the bedside clock. "Come on. Maybe we can still make it to Supply before I have to check in."

"Yahsureyoubetcha, snookums."

"That is so Minnesota," the younger man chuckled, "and you are so damn cute!" He traced one finger gently over the slight dimple in O'Neill's chin.

Jack chuckled. "I'm ignoring that and returning the conversation to necessary threads. I'll need uniforms and dress blues, eventually, if they take me back. It's going to be expensive, but I promise to pay you back. In installments, according to whatever pittance I might earn here. Just wish I could be wearin' the Class A's when I present myself to General Hammond." He frowned, looking down at himself in the borrowed jumpsuit.

Daniel smiled broadly up at him. "New wardrobe, a couple thousand bucks. Hockey season passes, a couple hundred. Love of a lifetime... priceless." He kissed Jack lightly on the lips. "I think I can manage."

"You doin' all right with your finances? Not that I'm a gold digger, or anything, just curious. Don't wanna break your bank account, you know." He stepped away from Daniel and glanced down at his feet, obviously embarrassed to have to ask for money.

"I've got about a half million by now, I think," Daniel told him casually as he slipped into the shirt. "My fiction novels were far more successful than my academic works. I haven't had time to work on any new ones since Abydos. More important stuff to do, you know."

Jack's head came up. His mouth hung open in the air. Not only could he not speak, he couldn't form a coherent thought.

"Some of it was my parents' estate," Daniel explained as he buttoned up his shirt. "The rest I earned during my less than illustrious career, which sounds a lot like your Daniel's was, and from my salary here and the novels. I don't generally spend much of it, except for my apartment and books. I'm rarely on Earth long enough for anything resembling a social life." He reached for a pair of gray pants from the closet and suddenly found his mouth against Jack's again. "What was that for? Not that I'm complaining."

"Hockey season passes. For two," Jack shot back. "And I'm buying a leather jacket."

Daniel's eyes glinted. His smile broadened. "Will you wear it to bed?" 

Jack groaned and turned away. "Keep talkin' like that and we'll never get to work. I find the hotness that is Daniel very distracting." Jack headed for the bathroom. "Be right out. And I'm using your toothbrush. You may not mind kissing me first thing after a good night's sleep, but nobody smells my morning breath. We'll buy two new ones tonight."

Daniel chuckled and continued getting dressed while Jack hurried to prepare himself for the new regime.

* * *

The archaeologist thought his colonel looked every inch the military man, even in the jumpsuit. Jack was fidgeting, obviously self- conscious. Vanity was a feature the original O'Neill in Daniel's universe was missing, and Jackson found it rather charming in his lover. Jack was also much more romantic than Daniel expected, and the memories of their budding relationship warmed him as they drove to the base.

After signing in, he escorted Jack directly to the supply station where he could order proper clothes for base attire. They waited until a set of blue fatigues were located in the right size and then went to the locker room so Jack could change. With a sigh of relief, he checked the mirror and finger-combed his hair back into place. Daniel offered his comb, and Jack smiled.

"Thanks," he said with genuine warmth, putting every silver hair in place. "Will I knock Hammond's socks off?"

"Not unless he's gay," Daniel teased.

Jack frowned back at that. "Watch it, Jackson," he warned, his voice low. "Never on the base." He handed the comb back and straightened his jacket. "Off we go, then."

They headed to the briefing room, but Generals West and Hammond were in a private conference with SFs on duty at each stairwell to ensure they remained undisturbed. There were orders waiting, however, and Jack was escorted to an office where he could review abbreviated mission reports and MALP transmissions under the supervision of Major Kawalski. With a little wave and a promise to meet him for lunch, Daniel left the two men alone and headed for his office to get started on his own work.

He couldn't have been happier. Fortune, it seemed, had smiled on him at last. He was no longer alone. He was loved. As long as this incredible dream lasted, Daniel would enjoy it. He wanted to get to know this Jack, to discover all the things about him that made him who he was, his history and hidden talents, his likes and dislikes.

As Daniel settled behind his desk, he couldn't concentrate on work, his mind returning to the mission where this new O'Neill appeared out of the darkness on an alien world to save SG-1. Daniel tried to pinpoint the differences in the original Jack and this one, but the only thing he could say was significantly different between the two men was that this one was willing to lay aside his heterosexual background in order to become involved with Daniel.

That love came with a price, however, and Daniel wasn't sure he could pay it. Jack had already seen the scars. Daniel noted the look in his eyes, the hatred gleaming there, and understood what knowledge of Daniel's background would mean to the man. Jack would want revenge. If he went after it, he'd get in trouble, probably landing in jail. Daniel couldn't allow that.

Besides, it was ancient history as far as Daniel was concerned. He learned long ago to forget what he couldn't forgive, just not think about the tragedy his life became immediately after his parents' deaths. As he sat at his desk, pencil tapping against his fingers, Daniel glanced down at his body. It was covered by familiar clothes, but he was aware of every hidden scar and the memories they evoked.

Jeff Eiger, his first foster father, had taught him many things. Young Daniel Jackson learned to be strong. He learned to tolerate pain without breaking. He learned to hate. When rescue had come in the form of a broken nose that the Eigers couldn't hide from a visiting social worker, Daniel had been moved to a new foster family and charges were filed against the man who tortured him for four years. Due to Daniel's testimony and the scars and fresh wounds he bore, Eiger had gone to prison.

That had been satisfactory, after a fashion. It was enough for a twelve-year-old boy. He sealed that part of his past away in his heart and mind and never looked back at it.

The next foster family had attempted to draw him in, but he sat down with Mrs. Brown early on and had a talk with her. He promised to be a very good boy, to obey all the rules, to do his chores and his schoolwork without complaint, if they would simply leave him alone. When he finished whatever was required of him, he retreated to his room, and to books. They respected each other's space, and at the age of 16 Daniel graduated high school and received a full merit scholarship to a prestigious university. It didn't take much to have himself declared a legal adult at that point, and he thanked the Browns for their community service and said goodbye.

They were there, after all, working for the state to protect a child until he was old enough to care for himself. They had done their job, and he respected them for that. They were friendly enough but Daniel never accepted the gifts they had given him, never responded to their gestures or words of affection because he couldn't. He knew where he had been going, and that was away. He didn't want to be attached to them, because he would only lose them eventually. He had lost everyone he loved, because that was what the universe had in store for him. His destiny had been about other things, important things. He had wanted to finish the work his parents started, to break new ground and discover something truly original... and he had done that.

Distance and superficial relationships had been Daniel's self- protection mechanism for so many years, keeping others at arm's length, never letting them touch him, either in body or soul. 

Then Jack O'Neill had come into his life; a man of steel and fire whose walls had been higher and thicker than Daniel's own. Fate had thrown them together in a desert on a distant world and when they returned home, they had become different men. Both vulnerable to each other. 

Ra and death and fear had done that to them, pushed them together until all they had were each other, struggling against impossible odds. They had clung tightly, needed each other... and gotten under each other's skins. Jack had hugged him, patted him affectionately, shook his hand. He had been a tactile man who hadn't noticed his archaeologist didn't like to be touched, or else he had ignored that idiosyncrasy and done it anyway, because it had been something O'Neill enjoyed. 

Daniel had discovered admiration. His tolerance of Jack's need for contact had crossed all of Daniel's borders. Then he fell in love, and Jack had died. Even now Daniel was still grieving, a part of his soul still torn by the loss. He hadn't seen Jack's body because it couldn't be retrieved from the cave-in that killed him on Revanna, but Sam and Teal'c had been witness to his death. That had been enough. Daniel still saw Jack dying in their eyes in unguarded moments, and even with this new Jack in his arms, the shadow of the other man was still there, growing fainter, but ever-present.

Daniel's walls had come up again when O'Neill died. Daniel was safe and protected behind them. Sam and Teal'c were the closest thing he had to family, but even they couldn't touch him, couldn't wound him as deeply as Jack. Kawalski was okay; they worked well as professionals and did their jobs. They knew they could count on each other, but there was no affection there as for his other teammates. After seven years of constant companionship, the captain and the Jaffa had found their own little niches inside Daniel's soul. He loved them like the sister and brother he never had.

Yet on that dark of night in a moment of need, Fate threw open the door and gave Daniel a second chance. He'd been clumsy about showing his uncertain feelings to the stranger who wasn't entirely a stranger. He saw the longing in O'Neill's eyes and tried his best to ignore it. When he invited Jack to stay the night at his apartment, it had been a gesture of friendship, a memoriam of sorts to the man Daniel had lost. Only he hadn't been able to hide his feelings, not with that face looking back at him, and in a moment of passion Daniel had kissed the man.

Jack kissed him back and things escalated after that. They were together now, spiritually welded, one flesh. Daniel stared down at his body, remembering the ugliness that lay beneath his clothes. Jack would want to know that history. He would want to open the old wounds and go hunting, and Daniel was going to have to protect Jack from himself.

He'd done it before, and he could do it again. Daniel was all about control, about being unbreakable. He would just have to make his lover see that the past was best left buried, and to concentrate on their future. Daniel bent his head to the books on his desk, opened them to the proper pages for reference, and began to study the photograph of the artifact another team had brought him for translation.

* * *

"My brain hurts," grumbled Jack, holding his head in both hands as he and Daniel motored away from the base. "I haven't done so much thinking in... forever."

"How many of the MALP transmissions did you get through?" Daniel changed lanes smoothly, despite the ancient car's groan and shudder.

"All of 'em. That's why my brain hurts."

"Jack, there must've been a hundred video scans to look through!"

"Not good with names or those alphanumeric designations," Jack admitted. "But I remember faces and places I've been. You have to remember where you've been if you're gonna find the way home; even though most of the shots were just trees, lots and lots of trees. Trees all over the freakin' universe."

"That's what I mean. How can you look at one group of trees and recognize them as different from any other group?"

"How can you look at a set of hieroglyphs and tell what century they were painted?" Jack cocked a knowing eyebrow at him.

"Oh." Daniel glanced at him, and then turned his eyes back to the road. "Any place in particular you want to go shopping?"

"Yeah. You want me to drive? I know the way." Jack patted the armrest of the old car and wished for his truck. Then again, what was sitting beside him behind the wheel was much more necessary. He gave directions and took his chauffer to all his favorite thread shops and he even talked Daniel into a few new items for himself.

Jack was particularly fond of the black leather pants that fitted Daniel like a second skin and the blue silk shirt that made his eyes turn electric blue. He accompanied Daniel into the fitting room stall just to make sure they fit the way he wanted, and made Daniel swear he'd never wear them anywhere but at home. Then they went out to dinner and headed home... to Daniel's home, where Jack had just taken up official residence.

Being from an alternate universe had its advantages, so no one at the base would give Jack moving in with Daniel a second thought. They'd still have to watch themselves in public but for now, all angles were covered. Except for Daniel's personal angles, but that was about to be addressed.

Daniel set his keys on the shelf just inside the door and Jack shot all the bolts. They carried their haul into the bedroom and neatly put everything away, silence a pleasant cushion filling the space between them. When they were done, they looked at each other.

"Put the pants on, Daniel," Jack ordered huskily. "And the new shirt, too." He left the bedroom and went to the balcony to wait for his lover to change.

"Is this what you wanted to see, Jack?" Daniel asked from beside the piano.

Jack turned around and stared, his eyes roving hungrily over that beefy body, so well delineated by the tight clothing. He could see the outline of Daniel's dick easily, tucked up against his right leg, swelling as he watched. Daniel's hands went to his zipper and he peeled it down slowly.

Jack came closer, his gaze sweeping up and down the other man with delicious anticipation. "God, Danny. You look so hot. Turn around, slowly. Walk to the bedroom so I can watch your ass move in those leather pants." His mouth was watering like a starving man's sitting down to a banquet.

Daniel's smile was blinding. "You like how I look in these? I feel kinda silly, actually. And a little uncomfortable. They're getting tight."

"It's that damned hard-on," said Jack with mock frustration. "We'll just have to do something about that." His eyes followed Daniel across the apartment and into the bedroom. The room still smelled of sex and something uncomfortably hard in the pocket of his new tan khaki pants made Jack remember the tube of lubrication they'd bought for tonight. It was his turn and he was more than ready.

Daniel looked down and started to slowly unbutton his shirt, flicking each button free with a little flourish. He started swaying his hips, doing a shy striptease.

Jack thought it was delightful, but he was impatient to be touching the body beneath those clothes. "You're gonna be too late if you don't hurry," Jack prompted, whipping off his Polo shirt and dropping it on the floor.

"I thought you'd enjoy a show," Daniel returned, scrambling now to get his clothes off.

"I got my show while we were at dinner. You shoulda seen people lookin' at you, women and men. Damn, you're fine, Daniel Jackson." He saw that the man was about to argue and held up a hand. "Shush! Just accept that I think that and go on from there. You want me to like the way your ass moves when you walk."

"Naked is better, though, right?" Daniel was all but sprinting across the room. 

Jack dodged and let him vault onto the bed. Those hands were all over him, that mouth on his neck, kissing and nipping as if Daniel was starving. He caught some of Jack's pubic hairs in the zipper in his haste to undo it, which sent Jack yelping and batting his lover's hands away. In seconds he divested himself of his clothing and pounced on Daniel, still kneeling on the bed.

"Ooof!" Daniel cried, landing flat on his back with Jack on top of him. "Eager, there, much?" 

"You're stunning when you smile," Jack growled and then attacked Daniel's mouth, wiping the grin right off with his lips.

They weren't as gentle with each other this time. Passion was given free rein, scorching them both as they tasted each other, touched everywhere, clung and rubbed and sucked until they lay panting and vibrating with need. Jack fished the lube out of the nightstand and handed it to Daniel. "Do it," he demanded. "Right now."

"No," Daniel shot back breathlessly. "I don't know what I'm doing and I don't want to hurt you."

"I want it that way," Jack ground out. He was ready to explode, and needed... something. "Hell, I have no idea what it's gonna feel like. I just want you to fuck me before I come apart at the seams." 

"Okay, let's slow down a little," Daniel panted, heavy eyebrows scrunching upward in confusion.

Jack could see the terror in his eyes, and it moved him. "Okay. Okay, Danny. We'll take our time. I just..." He glanced down at himself, so stiff he was about to pop. His glance drew Daniel's gaze there, and both men smiled.

"How about if I take a little of the pressure off first?" Daniel suggested gently, smiling.

"If you insist," Jack shot back playfully.

Daniel came down on his mouth with a slow, sweet kiss that Jack felt all the way to his toes. That talented mouth nibbled across his chin, suckled lightly down his throat to his collarbones. With his tongue, Daniel laved those hard little ridges, lapping up the sweat that pooled in the hollow between them.

"God, Daniel," Jack breathed, his hands running all over Daniel's back and threading through his hair. "What you do to me. I love you. Love you so much."

"Mmmmm," Daniel agreed, moving lower, nuzzling his way through Jack's chest hair until he could reach a nipple.

Jack started to relax, the warmth of Daniel's body seeping into him, Daniel's hands stroking, squeezing, exploring him. The sensations left him delirious. He moaned and writhed as his lover worked his way downward, taking his time, gentling Jack's need. When he could manage, Jack opened his eyes and watched, as Daniel loved him, that gorgeous hair falling in a shining curtain around his face. Jack loved looking at it, running his fingers through it, combing it back so he could see that beautiful face in motion.

Daniel's eyes were closed as he took Jack's cock in his mouth. The expression on his face spoke of reverence and incredible pleasure, and it made Jack's heart twist up inside him.

For me, he reminded himself. All that is just for me.

Daniel looked up at him then, as if he'd heard. He smiled around his mouthful and broke the suction, breathing a soft little laugh around Jack's shaft.

"I love you," Jack breathed, reaching out to touch that lovely chestnut hair.

"Mm-hmm," Daniel returned.

The vibration from that verbalization sent a little jolt through Jack. He grinned as an idea came to mind. "Daniel, do you like to hum?"

"Hmmm?" the younger man asked, not breaking contact.

"Hum something. Just keep doing what you're doing and hum."

Those brown brows scrunched together for a second. Then they shot up Daniel's forehead in surprise as the idea jelled. His eyes took on a mischievous gleam, and he began to hum.

Jack tried to identify the tune, but the vibrations and that glorious wet heat were so distracting that coherent thought became impossible. He could do nothing but close his eyes and recline against the pillow, completely owned by the man sucking so happily on his dick. He was close, gathering himself to come, when suddenly everything stopped and Daniel lifted his head.

"Don't stop now!" Jack begged, looking down at his lover. Then he saw that Daniel had the lube and was squeezing a little of it into his palm. A second later, his mouth was back where it belonged and Daniel's fingers were probing Jack's ass. "Oh, Jeez." Jack did his best to relax, but that finger twirling gently against his sphincter felt huge and foreign and scary.

Climax suddenly wasn't so close after all. Jack concentrated on the feel of that wonderful mouth on him, loving him, adoring him, and slowly his fear began to recede. Daniel's finger slipped in, slick and hard and huge. With great care, Daniel thrust into him, sliding in deeply, easing out, exploring. The burning sensation from that first penetration faded and in its wake was heat of a different kind. Another finger breached him and Jack clutched at the sheets, writhing against the bed, against those fingers and thrusting into that mouth.

"God, Daniel," moaned Jack. "Yes. Good. So fucking good."

Daniel plunged deeper, smoothing across something that sent lightning bolts through Jack's brain. He cried out and his lover froze, afraid he'd caused pain. He waited.

"Good," Jack panted. "Don't stop. Gonna come-"

As if reading his mind, Daniel moved his fingers again, striking that same spot as he sucked hard on Jack's dick. With a scream of ragged ecstasy, Jack shot his load into Daniel's mouth, body bucking and thrusting wildly, completely out of control. He lay gasping for breath, those fingers still working that incredible magic while Daniel sucked him dry.

"Oh, Jack," he whispered when the last spasm had passed. "You are so beautiful."

"I am so wiped," Jack corrected with a broad grin. "You do it for me, Danny. You do it gooooood."

"There's more," Daniel promised, slipping another finger inside. "Open up for me, Jack. I don't want to hurt you."

Jack glanced down at his lover, lying half on his side between Jack's outstretched legs. "Mighty impressive weapon you got there, big guy." Daniel blushed and smiled and Jack desperately wanted to kiss him just then, but he couldn't reach those lips yet. 

"Do you like this?" asked Daniel uncertainly.

The sensation of stretching was still a little uncomfortable, but it wasn't unpleasant. Once Jack got used to the size, it was good. He wanted Daniel, wanted him inside his body, as he had penetrated Daniel the previous night. Jack could see that Daniel's cock was quite a bit bigger than his fingers and that scared him a little, but he knew those tissues would stretch. He was ready, in his mind if not in his body.

"Love me, Daniel. I don't want to wait." Slowly, he rolled over onto his belly, stuffing a pillow beneath his hips. Daniel's fingers never lost their place or rhythm as he moved into position, a perfectly coordinated slow-motion ballet. Jack felt Daniel kissing his buttocks, his free hand roving all over his skin. Jack felt radiant with love. This was a wonderful gift he was giving Daniel, and whether he enjoyed it or not, he wanted to do this at least once.

Turning just with his shoulders, he watched Daniel coat his hard-on with the slick gel. The younger man's hands were shaking. He squeezed out nearly half the tube onto himself, wanting to make sure there would be plenty of lubrication. Jack watched as Daniel moved with the grace of a big cat, kneeling behind him, between his legs. Jack propped himself up on his elbows. He was anxious but his heart was so full he didn't care if it hurt. 

Jack felt Daniel spread his cheeks and tried to relax. The only thing he'd ever had up there was a doctor's latex coated finger checking for hernias, but this sensation was nothing like that. "Easy, Danny," Jack crooned to his lover. "It'll be all right."

"O-okay, Jack," stammered Daniel uncertainly.

The blunt tip of his cock pressed against Jack's anus and Daniel thrust hesitantly in. Jack froze, his body clenching at the sheer size of the invading tool. "Whoa, wait! Not so fast," Jack cried out.

"S-sorry," Daniel whimpered, pulling out immediately.

Jack turned a little more so he could see Daniel's face, flushed red with embarrassment and tears in his eyes. "Don't stop, Danny," Jack reassured him. "Just go slower. It's okay. I want you. I love you and I want you to show me how much you love me. Okay?"

Daniel's mouth was quivering as if he was about to cry. He nodded and moved back into place, pressing in just a little, waiting and listening.

Jack forced himself to relax, to let Daniel in and took a little more of him. Slowly, gently, Daniel pushed his way inside until Jack had taken all of him. Daniel stretched out on top of his lover, holding his body up on his hands, arms locked out to bear his weight.

"Is that okay?" the younger man whispered hesitantly. "Do you like it?"

"I think I might," Jack confessed, his voice trembling. Daniel's confidence was fragile, and Jack had to make sure he thought before he spoke. It felt foreign, totally alien, to be penetrated like that, but having Daniel behind him, his warm body lying against Jack's, felt amazingly right. 

Daniel was starting to move now, slow, patient thrusts, sinking himself fully into Jack's ass. He was making noises, trembling and soft, that told Jack just how much he loved what he was doing. Jack relaxed against the pillow, enjoying Daniel's kisses against his shoulders and neck. Jack turned his head so Daniel could reach his face, murmuring lovely-sounding things in his ear in foreign languages. 

It was beautiful. Jack had never felt so loved in his life. This... this was all about Daniel, quivering on top of him, holding and kissing him, putting his love into words and actions that left no doubt what was in his heart.

"I love you, Daniel," Jack whispered against the pillow.

"My life, my soul, my all. I will love you forever, Jack. My Jack. Mine."

"Always," Jack assured him. 

Jack felt hot tears hit his cheek and slide downward. Daniel's fingers were quick to wipe them up and Jack wished they had tried it face to face, though he knew this was better on his back. He couldn't touch Daniel with his hands, couldn't reassure him with a look or touch like this. He ached to do that, felt the passion rising inside him, passion for his lover. With a shock he realized he was hard again, his balls straining toward imminent release.

Daniel changed his rhythm, angling forward slightly. Something else was happening now, something that made Jack turn his head from the pillow to suck in a breath and let out a startled gasp of pleasure. The strokes were a deep, powerful glide that massaged Jack's prostate, sending fingers of bliss through him like a charge of electricity. In and out, every thrust caressed him there, melting his bones and dissolving his resistance. He needed more, wanted more, ached for it.

"Fuck!" he shouted. "Oh, God, it's so good, yes, Daniel, more... harder, faster...fuck me...fuckmebabyohDannyyessssss!" 

He heard howling and realized it was himself. He was coming, his cock throbbing into the pillow while Daniel slammed into his ass. He couldn't move, just a jellied pile of O'Neill glowing with ecstasy while his lover continued to plow him from behind. An instant later, just when he thought his wits were starting to work again, he felt Daniel climax and smiled at the deep-throated grunts, so unlike the loud cries he'd gotten out of the man the previous night. 

Daniel collapsed onto Jack's back, panting and quivering.

The weight felt good. Jack's ass was still throbbing with pleasure. He didn't think he'd be able to sit down for a couple of days but it would be worth the discomfiture. Daniel slid off him, landing in a heap on his back beside Jack, his face the picture of delirious joy.

"Not a virgin of any kind anymore, Daniel," Jack murmured to him. "You are totally fucked now."

"I love you, Jack."

O'Neill leaned over and tasted those smiling lips for a long time. As he kissed Daniel, he moved over him, slipping his arms beneath the man and holding him close. Daniel needed a lot of holding, he knew. Especially this Daniel. He needed all the kindness and support his friends could give him but he needed more from Jack. Dr. Jackson was confident enough in his professional space - even a touch arrogant at times -- but when it came to the real Daniel, the man underneath the job, Jack wasn't sure this Daniel knew how to navigate that landscape. He would need someone who could help him map that alien world, and that was just where Jack wanted to live. 

"I love you, Daniel." He felt the younger man slipping away into dreams and jiggled him awake. "C'mon. We should get under the covers if you're gonna fall asleep on me."

"Did you want to talk?" the sleepy, sated man asked.

"No. I want blankets. And cuddling. Now move." They wrestled around on the bed as they turned it down and slipped under the covers. Jack noticed that Daniel got up to put on sweats and a T-shirt before padding back to the bed. Jack promptly took them back off him. "If you're sleepin' with me, you're sleepin' naked. I wanna feel skin right now and I don't mind getting the wet spot. We can change the linens in the morning." 

Daniel smiled shyly up at him from his pillow, his hair thoroughly tousled from Jack's manhandling of him. "Yeah? Cuddling, huh? Who'd have thought the big, mean, hard-as-nails colonel was such a teddy bear underneath?"

"Nobody. And let's keep it that way, shall we?" The colonel wrapped his arms around his lover and held him close. Then he let his eyes drift closed; sliding off into dreams of wild and tender sex with the man he loved more than life.

* * *

"No kiss goodbye?" Jack teased quietly, standing at the foot of the ramp.

Daniel frowned up at him. "You're supposed to be cranky, remember? How can I walk away from you when you're smiling at me like that? Especially after the way you made love to me this morning. I can hardly walk."

Jack just grinned, remembering. "Ready?" He raised his voice so they could be heard. "Don't wander off anywhere, Daniel. Don't touch anything and don't get killed."

"This is a routine diplomatic mission," Daniel shot back, instantly irritated. "We've had established relations with the Messenetians for months now, which is why I'm going in a suit instead of BDUs and not carrying any weapons. They're allies, for cryin' out loud."

Jack popped him lightly on the shoulder. "Hey, quit stealin' my lines!"

Daniel sighed and turned away, briefcase in hand. "I'll be back in three days," he groused.

"I'll have dinner ready but I'm not sharin' the beer."

"I don't like beer, Jack."

"Give my love to the Missionaries."

"Messenetians!"

Daniel disappeared through the event horizon and Jack strutted away, pleased with his performance. He glanced up into the control booth and saw Hammond's impatient frown. Didn't take the general long to get to know him. Jack returned to his barracks room for the controller, slipped it into the pocket of his jumpsuit and headed to the briefing room. The general was tapping his pencil on his notepad, a sure sign of impatience. "What kept you?" he asked sharply.

Jack noticed the man didn't use his military title. That probably meant he was going to be kept on as a civilian advisor, strictly for what he knew. He wasn't getting a team assignment or his rank back. But he had a plan for that contingency, too.

"I had to go get something, sir," O'Neill admitted. The general gestured him toward a chair but Jack was afraid he'd wince if he sat down, so he remained standing. He eyed the faces around the table, one by one. "Thank you all for coming. I hope what I have to say will be taken seriously."

The grin sliding across Carter's face spoke volumes. Their Jack had been the same kind of wise-ass and one never knew when to take him seriously unless he was giving an order and had his 'colonel' face on. The grin disappeared as she remembered this wasn't her colonel and she made eye contact again.

"Time for some honesty, folks," Jack began, "and the real reason why I came through the looking glass to offer my services to your universe."

Hammond cocked an eyebrow and shot a glance at Major Kawalski.

"I'm here for Daniel."

Expressions of shocked surprise hit Carter and Kawalski at the same instant. Teal'c nodded in approval. Hammond simply waited. On his second full day of command of this alternate reality SGC, he didn't know this group well enough to make judgments. Not yet.

"See, in my universe, Dr. Daniel Jackson is dead," Jack told them. "Had been for a while. That's when I started to notice some things. Numbers started adding up. I got a cosmic wake-up call. A clear view of the Big Picture."

"You wanna be a little less existential, here, O'Neill?" asked Hammond with a trace of impatience in his voice.

Again, without the rank, Jack noticed. He could deal with that. "I'm getting to that, sir." He took a deep breath. "See, we all thought, once Daniel figured out how to work that machine down there that anything we found would have a military objective attached to it. For the most part, that's what it looked like... on the surface."

He strolled toward the windows looking down on the Stargate, remembering Daniel's nervous lecture in that same room as he revealed his discovery of the star addresses back at the beginning of things.

"But after Daniel died, I started seeing just how hard a time everyone was having without him. His guidance. His compassion. His big honkin' brain." He turned around to face Carter. "I watched things start to slowly fall apart; nothing tangible, really, just little things. Like movements on a chess board, where it becomes crystal clear that you're sadly outmatched and no matter what move you make, you're always gonna lose."

Carter swallowed hard. She was getting it all ready. That was good.

Jack turned his frank, penetrating gaze to Hammond. "Ever tried to play chess without your queen, general?"

"It makes for a difficult game but it can still be won."

"What if your opponent has six or seven queens and you have none?"

A small, quick grin slid across Hammond's face and was gone. "Aside from the fact that would be illegal as hell, you couldn't win with so many powerful pieces on the other side."

"Exactly," Jack agreed, raising one finger in the air. Then he slipped that hand into his pocket. "We lost our most powerful piece and the Goa'uld had all the queens. We were going to lose."

"You're saying Daniel's the key?" Carter asked.

Jack eyed her. "That's because he is. He has been from the beginning and it took losing him to get a look at the endgame."

"You've got to be kidding me," Kawalski carped. "Daniel? He can barely find his ass with both hands. How can he be...?"

Jack's head snapped up and he shot a warning glance at the major. "He's not a soldier, Charlie. Never will be. But that's not what we need for this..." He waved his hand around, glancing at the windows and the SGC logo on the back wall. "This 'greatest endeavor of humanity,' as Dr. Jackson once put it." He leveled a proud gaze at Sam and offered a little smile. "See, the people in charge of this command have always thought it was about finding cool space guns to blow the Goa'uld out of the sky, including me. Carter would probably know one if she saw it off-world but the rest of us would walk right by it, thinking it's some kind of alien hood ornament."

Kawalski grinned and shook his head. 

"Carter's good at that. She's brought back some interesting stuff." He got a return on the smile and nodded acceptance. He was a man she could respect and that was good. That she knew the respect was mutual was even better. "Thing is, General Hammond, I don't believe our salvation's going to come from stumbling across a weapon on some dead world. That's because, if the weapon's working, there's probably people still there using it to protect themselves."

Hammond looked thoughtful now.

That was also good.

"Daniel's good with people," Jack went on. "He wins friends and influences people. And that, sir, is where our salvation lies. Somewhere out there, we're going to come into contact with some folks who like us enough to want to save our sorry asses from the Goa'uld and the people who will make that connection for us are the ones we give the least credit: the gee-- academics who speak a bazillion languages, who've always got a hand out asking if they can help. Not if someone else will help us but if we can help them. That's Daniel's way and it's the right way. If we pull the thorn out of the right lion's paw, we'll be able to defeat the Goa'uld. But we'll never be able to do it alone, no matter what interesting technology we bring home." 

He almost sat down but his behind reminded him that a chair wasn't a good place to be at the moment. He stood back up again and fished in his pocket, sliding the mirror controller across the table to Sam. "This thing will make the quantum mirror work," he added. "I kept it till I was sure this was where I was supposed to be."

Her eyes lit up as she examined the device. "Will you show me how it works?"

Jack smiled at her. "Anything you want, captain. I belong to the SGC now, heart and soul." He looked at the general, using Daniel's stock question. "How may I help you, sir?" 

Hammond smiled. He shook his head and dropped his pencil without writing down a word. "Nicely done, colonel."

"So, you'll keep me, then?"

"I'll have to do a little tap dancing to get you back pay but I think we can at least let you pick up where our O'Neill left off. Welcome home, son." He rose and extended his hand for a firm shake. "That makes you one of the higher ranking officers in this organization. You also have the most experience; according to the resume you gave me, so I'll be looking for a team assignment for you. Meanwhile..."

"Sir, if you don't mind," Jack cut in gently, "I'd like to be on SG- 1. I'll be subordinate in the field to Major Kawalski, if necessary. I'll even forego my rank completely but I have to go with Daniel, as a bodyguard, if nothing else."

Eyes widened all around the table at the suggestion.

"What is it with you and Daniel, Jack?" Kawalski spluttered. "Are you hot for him or somethin'?"

Jack reacted, body stiffening, eyes shooting a dangerous glare at the man. "I told you, Charlie. Daniel is our most valuable player. We can't afford to lose him. I intend to make sure of that."

"And you don't trust him to be safe under my command?" Kawalski's dark eyes were challenging him, angry. He obviously didn't want to give up what he felt was his team now.

"Daniel wanders off. He gets into trouble. He's a freakin' magnet for it. You know that, Kawalski. I didn't trust him under my command either because he doesn't follow orders. He needs a keeper, for cryin' out loud, not a new C.O."

"We'll work this out, gentlemen," Hammond said coolly. "In the end, the decision will be mine, so I suggest you all get your arguments together, give them to me separately and let me be the general here. Dismissed."

Jack nodded. Kawalski sulked. Teal'c cocked an eyebrow and Carter grinned.

Everybody started to push back their chairs but Jack held up a finger and lifted his eyebrows as he spoke. "Oh, one more thing, kids..."

All eyes turned to him.

"Don't tell the... uh... academics they're our MVPs. Some of them are insufferably arrogant as it is but it would just put way too much pressure on Daniel." Jack glanced at the table for a moment. "He seems to be quite a bit more... damaged... than the one I knew. He'll take careful handling." 

Carter stared up at him. "You're a very different Colonel O'Neill than the one we had. You seem to have sharper observational skills."

"And a great deal more compassion," offered the Jaffa. "This bodes well for your return to our ranks. Welcome, Other O'Neill."

"Just O'Neill, T. I'm not Other anymore. I'm yours." He smiled at the Jaffa and extended his hand. 

Teal'c came around the table and took it, then gave him a firm embrace. "It is good to have you fighting alongside us again, O'Neill. You were greatly missed."

"Thanks, buddy."

Carter gave him a bright smile and a snappy salute. "Welcome back, colonel."

Hammond had already headed for his office. The others left the room, with just Kawalski still at the table. The major's brown eyes rolled up angrily to meet Jack's.

"I'm not givin' up my team," he said gruffly.

"I'm not askin' you to," Jack assured him quietly. "I'd be thrilled if Hammond put me back with SG-1 but I don't want to take what you've earned here. You, me, Ferretti and Daniel are the only ones left from the first mission and I meant what I said. I'd be subordinate to your command, acting only as Daniel's bodyguard, if that's how Hammond wants to play it."

"I know you, Jack," Kawalski rasped. "In the heat of battle, you'd be calling the shots and the others would obey you without a second thought. They wouldn't even hear me."

That admission made a point Jack had been trying to avoid putting out in the open. He said nothing. It wasn't necessary. Kawalski got it all by himself.

He sighed and nodded. "That's it, isn't it? They'll always be your team. I was just a visiting coach."

"You're a good man, Charlie," Jack assured him. "I'm sure you've been an excellent commander. You were always nicer than me. People like you better."

"I don't think Daniel ever really forgave me for knockin' him on his ass on Abydos."

"Sure, he did. Daniel forgives everybody who hurts him," Jack smiled. "And that's one of the things that's gonna save our asses in the end. Wait and see."

Kawalski smiled and shook his head. "Yeah, I'll be watchin'. But I guess I'd better go tell Hammond I'm up for reassignment." He shook Jack's hand. "No hard feelings buddy." He bumped chests and gave Jack a light slap on the back.

"Thanks, Charlie. Maybe we can get together and play some street hockey soon. I've missed that."

"What, am I dead where you come from?" Kawalski asked with a grin.

The memory crashing through Jack's brain must have showed on his face.

Kawalski sobered. "I am, huh? How?"

"A snake got you, second trip through the gate. We couldn't get it out of you."

The major rubbed at the back of his neck, fear glinting in his eyes. "I've been lucky, then."

"Be thankful for that. In other universes, things are different."

Head down, Kawalski ambled toward the general's office. "Daniel makes that much of a difference, Jack? You're sure?"

"He's the key. Always has been. I just couldn't see that till he was gone."

Without looking back, Kawalski knocked on the door and Jack headed for the stairs to go bother Carter and Teal'c for a while and share his news. He felt great, even with a sore ass, especially because he had a sore ass and Daniel was going to be thrilled that he had a new C.O.

However, Jack was going to have to make sure he didn't show any kind of favoritism in the field or in the presence of other base personnel. He had to spend time with this Carter and Teal'c and renew old acquaintances, discover differences and show them that he cared about them as much as he had his own teammates.

He felt bad about leaving the others behind but Teal'c understood. Hell, he approved what Jack had done and the colonel felt sure Carter would, too. They were both strong, capable people and they'd land on their feet. He also felt certain that his prediction was correct and that the universe in which his friends fought on was doomed to defeat at the hands of the Goa'uld. He'd seen the shift in attention from exploration to the technology quest and every alien race who had what they wanted saw the Tau'ri as little kids with water guns wanting to play with the real thing. 

And always... always... it had been Daniel who paved the way and made the amiable connection with those advanced races.

One day, someone out there was going to either trust the Tau'ri not to shoot themselves in the foot, or come to their aid and help fight the Goa'uld because they saw something in humanity worth saving.

Daniel was the best example of that. He had loads of virtues. Intelligence, curiosity and compassion all rolled up in a lovely, self-effacing package. Aliens loved Daniel. His own people rarely gave him the time of day.

There had to be something terribly wrong with that picture and Jack O'Neill intended to make people start looking at his beloved geek, to really see what a priceless treasure they had in their midst, before it was too late.

* * *

"That went well," sighed Daniel as he stepped out of the freshening stall, the Messenetian version of a waterless shower. This alien technology would take a little getting used to but he wouldn't be there very long, after all. His first day had been a great success and their recently unearthed temple of the Greek goddess Artemis made a fascinating addition to the puzzle that the Goa'uld left behind them. 

The archaeologist dressed for bed and sat down with his laptop, typing in notes on the day's events. Hours passed without his notice but eventually weariness settled over him and he knew he should get some rest. The Messenetians were gearing up for some worldwide celebration, the Day of Absolution, they called it, and Daniel wanted to see it before he left. Tomorrow would be a reasonably busy day, though he'd have a little free time around mid-day to wander and see the sights and he wanted to make sure he didn't waste it on needing a nap.

Lying in the bed in the moonlight, he found it difficult to fall asleep. Memories of Jack made him smile and he hugged the extra pillow, pretending it was his lover. Daniel felt like the luckiest man in the universe to have a man like Jack O'Neill in love with him.

Those thoughts energized him and he decided to go down to the library in the guest quarters assigned to him. The building had once been part of a palace, now divided up into various government offices, including the wing they had turned into residences for visiting dignitaries. Each wing had its own library and Daniel's was stocked with books on the history and archaeology of the Messenetian people. 

He was curious about this Absolution ceremony, wanting to get an idea of what it signified and how it had come about, so he went downstairs to research it.

He found a small boy sitting on the library floor, all alone, a big book with pictures of ancient buildings open in his lap. The child looked up guiltily and got to his feet, tucking the book under his arm. He edged nervously toward the shelf and tried to put it back. Not quite managing that task, it fell to the floor as he stepped away.

"Please don't tell anyone I was here," the child asked breathlessly in his native tongue. "I'm not supposed to be in the building."

"In bed, should you not be?" Daniel asked gently in Messenetian, moving into the room and fastening his robe with the sash that was dangling at his sides. He'd picked up their language quite well but still had a little trouble with the grammar. It made him sound like Yoda. "Very late it is, you know." He squatted down beside the child. "Daniel is my name. What is yours?"

"Tinyar," the boy replied, his green eyes as big as saucers. "You won't tell on me?"

"Nothing will I say," he promised with a smile. "Books on history, you like?" He picked up the fallen volume and opened it. "Like them, too, I do."

Tinyar grinned. "You talk funny."

"Learning your language, I am," Daniel explained with a shy smile. "Soon will I learn it better. Teach me, can you?"

Tinyar's small, fair head bobbed enthusiastically. "Sure. I'll help you."

"Tomorrow, then," Daniel suggested. "Mid-day will I find you and talk we will. Where shall I meet you?"

The boy took his hand and led him to the window. He pointed to a small out-building that must have once been servant's quarters to the palace. "I live there. In the orphanage."

Daniel's heart sank. "Your parents," he said softly, looking up into Tinyar's face. The child couldn't have been more than ten or twelve years old. "What happened to them?"

Grief drew those fine blond brows together. Tinyar's distress was obvious. "They died in an accident. Two years ago."

Taking the boy's trembling hands, Daniel gave them a squeeze. "My parents I lost in an accident, too. When a boy I was, younger than you. How this feels, I know." He let go of one hand and placed his palm against his chest. He gave the boy a sad smile. "Get better, it will, Tinyar. I promise."

Tears gathered in the boy's eyes and he shook his head. "Not for me, Daniel."

"Not long will I be here," confessed Daniel, saddened by the child's grief. "Be with me while I am, you would like?" He shook his head. "Sounds so clumsy it does from me. Better should I be with this."

"I can understand you," Tinyar assured him, wiping a tear from his face. "And yes, I would like to see what you do. You're not from our world, are you?"

Daniel shook his head and wiped another tear from the boy's cheek with his thumb. "No. From Earth, I am. Come through the Stargate, I have. The Door to Heaven, as Messenetians say."

Tinyar sniffed back his tears and sighed. Then he smiled bravely. "I would love to show you my world, Daniel, but I don't want to get in the way."

Memories of childhood came streaming back to Daniel, how painful it had been to try to adjust to life without his parents. How his grandfather had rejected him and how that had made him feel; unwanted, unloved, unimportant. He wanted to make sure that same sort of thing hadn't happened to Tinyar.

"Wish you with me, I do," Daniel promised. "But for now, sleep must you have. Take you home, I shall." He turned toward the door with Tinyar in tow.

"They don't mind if I go out alone," the boy promised. "It's all right for me to go wherever I want."

Daniel had seen enough of the alien news broadcasts to know that Messenetian society, just like that of any culture, had its good and bad elements, and just like Earth, there were those who preyed upon the unsuspecting and the unprepared. "Safe it is not," Daniel cautioned the boy. "Out after dark, you should not be."

Tinyar shrugged. "No one will hurt me," he argued nonchalantly. "Everyone knows my face."

"A celebrity, you are?" 

The boy hung his head. "Not exactly."

"Still, in bed you should be. A big day we will have tomorrow." He smiled down at the boy and led the way out of the wing toward the orphanage next door.

It took a few minutes to rouse one of the staff. The woman looked very surprised and a little flustered to see him, obviously recognizing him from the news broadcasts. She hardly gave the boy a glance.

"Was he troubling you, Dr. Jackson?" she asked breathlessly.

"Oh, no. Tomorrow... Forgive please speech errors of mine... Tinyar will come with me, yes? He may do this?"

The woman glanced down at the boy, standing off to one side in the doorway. She looked back at the alien scientist, shock obvious in her expression. "You want him to visit with you?"

Daniel smiled and nodded. "Yes. Much like me, he is. An orphan was I, also, as a boy."

For a moment the woman considered. "I will ask the headmistress," she promised. "But Tinyar is allowed to go where he pleases. No one may forbid him."

That didn't sound like very good childcare, in Daniel's opinion. He'd have to check into their state welfare system. "Not a school day, tomorrow is?" Daniel shook his head, frowning as he tried to get a grip on their syntax. "Tomorrow is not a school day for Tinyar? Did I say that right this time?"

Tinyar grinned. "Yes! You said it right, Daniel."

Daniel smiled back at him. He stooped and put the boy's hand in the air, then slapped his palm to the boy's. "We call that a high five, Tinyar. It is for celebrations, for doing something right."

The boy looked at his hand and then wiggled his fingers. "High five. I like high fives."

Looking back at the caretaker, Daniel waited for an answer.

"No, he doesn't have to go to school if he doesn't want to."

Daniel stood up slowly, certain his displeasure showed on his face. He spoke slowly; working to make his thoughts clear in this difficult language. "How do you expect Tinyar to grow up to be a good man if he has no education?"

"We don't," the woman said simply. She turned to the boy and nodded toward the interior of the building. Tinyar dashed inside without a word. "You must understand, Dr. Jackson, Tinyar has no future. He has no time."

"Understand do I not," Daniel shot back. "Explain."

The woman looked distinctly uncomfortable. "Perhaps you should discuss this with the high council. It's not my place to tell you..." She started to turn away.

Daniel caught her arm, ever so gently. "Show me to his rooms. Please."

The woman nodded, tightened her robe about her and led the way inside. It was beautifully decorated with large murals in bright colors; just the sort of thing children would love. There were playrooms to the front of the building, a library filled with children's books and a cafeteria that was equally as well designed as every other room Daniel saw as they passed. Up the stairs they went, past large dormitories with small cots where children of all ages lay sleeping in gaily adorned rooms. Stuffed toys were plentiful and each child had his or her own private space, complete with desk and small book case.

It didn't look so bad, Daniel thought. It was far better than the juvenile facility where he'd been placed until that first foster home was located. That thought made his shoulders come up around his ears and he shut it out, concentrating on Tinyar and the boy's situation. Ascending several more flights of stairs, they came to an attic room off by itself.

The woman opened the door and for a moment, Daniel was stunned. It was lavish, beautiful and filled with books and toys. Obviously, there was some sort of celebrity status attached to the boy, if the stack of letters on the desk were any indication. Tinyar was hurrying into a nightshirt behind a dressing screen and when he finished he came out and stood beside the bed, looking up at his visitors.

"Dr. Jackson wanted to see your room," the worker explained.

"You are okay?" Daniel asked uncertainly.

"I'm fine," Tinyar answered without thinking. "Would you like to tell me a bedtime story?"

Daniel couldn't help grinning. "Mangle it, I would, Tinyar."

The boy pulled a small book from the case beside his bed. "Read to me, then?"

"That I can do," Daniel assured him. "To bed with you." He moved into the room and sat at the foot of the bed. Glancing back at the woman in the doorway, he told her, "Speak with your headmistress tomorrow, I will. Thank you for your help, Miss...?"

"Cinda," the woman said. She looked concerned as her eyes flicked between man and boy and saying nothing more, closed the door after her.

Daniel thought it strange that these people would trust someone they didn't know with one of their children. Then again, he was a high profile visitor and would be easy to locate even off their planet, but there were other things about Tinyar's situation that bothered him, things he wanted addressed before he went home.

He glanced at the boy now snuggled under the covers and smiled, opened the storybook and began to read.

* * *

Jack stood in the doorway of Carter's lab, watching her angle toward some little thing on the workbench with a pair of long tweezers. He grinned. "Carter!" he barked and got the expected reaction.

She dropped the tweezers when she jerked, caught and juggled them for a moment before finally losing them to the floor. Exasperated, she shot an impatient glance at him. "Sir!" She bent to pick them up, removed her face shield and stepped away from the bench with an exasperated sigh. "What can I do for you, colonel?"

He stepped in and shut the door, stuffing his hands into his pockets and flapping them back and forth to fan out the BDU pants playfully. "Oh, nothin'. Just came to renew old acquaintances." He stuck his right hand out toward her. "Howdy. I'm Jack O'Neill. That's colonel to you."

Sam couldn't help grinning and shook his hand. "Captain Samantha Carter. It's good to have you back, sir. What would you like to know?"

"Well, I expect I'll be reading a lot of mission reports while Daniel's away, making notes on where things were different in my universe. Sort of a reference guide, I guess. The big thing is that I need to get to know my people all over again. I'm sure there are a lot of similarities between you and my Carter, which will make things easier but there will be differences too, and I need to know about those."

"Like?"

"Are you married or otherwise involved? How's your father and is he a Tok'ra? Did you get Jolinar or not? Lots of things. The Sixteen Magazine version of Captain Dr. Samantha Carter, if you please. Oh, and mine was a major, but hopefully we'll address your rank and potential for promotion soon." 

She looked a little startled but grasped the concept right away. "Okay, I'm not sure exactly what to tell you but here goes... Life history in brief." She stepped away, head down and started to pace the lab. "My mom died when I was a teenager..."

"Check," Jack noted aloud.

Sam glanced up at him and nodded. "I have one brother, Mark, who has two kids and lives in San Diego." 

"Check."

Her face grew somber and she started pacing again. "My father passed away two years ago, so no, he's not a Tok'ra." She stopped walking and met his steady gaze. Her voice changed. "But I am, Colonel O'Neill. I have chosen to work with the Tau'ri, rather than my own people. I see great promise in your race." She smiled. "And I agreed with your speech in the briefing room. I believe you are correct in your theory."

Jack felt himself step backward at the sound of that voice coming out of her mouth. "Hellooo, Jolinar. I didn't expect this. How'd you manage stayin' alive? And getting out of lockup and back into rotation?"

"Teal'c sensed the presence of the Ashrak sent to kill me and stopped him," Jolinar told him. "I spent several months in SGC custody, until the Tok'ra managed to trace me here. They made contact with General West and established diplomatic relations in an effort to get me back. However, once I understood the great love of your team for one another and witnessed through Samantha's memory your many successes against the Goa'uld, I decided I could do more good here than with my own kind." She smiled again. "I was allowed to stay and share my knowledge with the SGC. Eventually, once trust was established, I was allowed to return to duty with SG-1."

"Okay. I guess I'll read all about it in the mission reports then, huh?"

Sam's head dipped and the voice was her own again. "Yes, sir. Anything else?"

Jack's eyebrows lifted slightly. "Martouf?"

She stiffened. "Dead. Long ago," Jolinar answered.

Nodding, Jack started to turn away. He rubbed the back of his neck and faced Carter with a grimace. "There wasn't anything between you and me that I should know about, was there?"

The shock on her face spoke volumes. "No! Instant court martial, colonel. Why would you even think...?"

He shook his head and grinned. "I had to ask. We've had some crossovers from alternate universes into ours. One time you...uh... another Carter and Kawalski came through and...odd as it may seem, that Sam and her Jack were married. She wasn't in the military, though, so it was okay."

Surprise lit her face again. "No kidding? That's wild. I've never been attracted to you. Not in the least."

"Blow to the old ego there, Carter," he shot back easily.

She grinned. "Sorry, sir."

"No, you're not."

"You're right. So, she didn't stay?"

He shook his head. "There was some tropical waterfall thing that kept that from happening. Two Carters cannot occupy the same universe at the same time or something."

"Entropic cascade failure?" she corrected.

"Yeah, that. Didn't look too comfy either. But we gave 'em what they needed and sent 'em home."

"Back to their own universe? You can do that?"

"Yeah. General Hammond has given us the go for returning to that planet tomorrow to play with the mirror. I'll show you how it works and how to find your way back home once you've stepped into somebody else's universe. Just be sure you don't stay long, okay?"

"This is gonna be so fun!" she gushed, shivering a little with excitement.

Jack pointed at her. "See, my Carter would never do that. That was positively... girly."

"I am a girl, or hadn't you noticed?" She struck a pose, arms crossed, daring him to look. It was a challenge.

He didn't take the bait and maintained eye contact. "I noticed when you walked into the briefing room that first day, Captain. Haven't forgotten that fact, ever."

"Anything else I can help you with, sir?" She relaxed her pose and took a step toward the workbench.

"Yeah." He sauntered closer and pulled up a stool. "Tell me about your Teal'c and Daniel. Anything you think I oughta know."

He left the lab hours later, his mind reeling with all the new information. Apparently this Sam and Daniel were pretty tight and the archaeologist had told her about a lot of his past traumas. Teal'c's story was pretty much the same, not a lot new there. However, Jack did notice when Sam talked about him that she looked... sort of...proud. That had to mean something; he just wasn't sure what yet.

Jack found the Jaffa in the gym, embarrassing some weights. The guy was so strong that none of the machines offered much in the way of resistance. He'd load them up and go for maximum reps to work up a sweat and whenever he hit the weights, all the other men in the gym would just leave. It was just too emasculating to watch the big guy work out.

Only Jack O'Neill wasn't put off by it at all. He'd still bust his butt to try and beat his Teal'c, if not in sheer pounds, then by doing just one more rep on whatever weight he could handle. Invariably, the colonel would need to be carried to the showers to recover but his pride, at least, was saved. He wondered if this Teal'c would let him win or make the colonel push himself to beat him in the same sort of contests.

"Hey, T," he called, plunking down on a neighboring weight bench. "How ya doin'?"

The Jaffa grunted through the final repetitions and set the weights aside easily. "I am well, O'Neill. And you?"

"Came to have a little chat. About the team."

"Am I the last?"

That question set Jack back slightly. "Well, yeah. Does it matter? Carter was easier to find."

Teal'c looked at him. There was just the tiniest gleam of humor in those dark, fathomless eyes. "She and I had a wager. I believed Captain Carter would be last."

"So you lost? What was the bet?"

The big man studied O'Neill for a long time, sitting perfectly still. He seemed to be considering something. "An hour of tenet fah."

Jack's eyebrows shot up his forehead. His mouth fell open and his eyes went wide. He'd never been too interested in the alien tongue and hadn't bothered to learn much of it but the eventful night of the Jello wrestling, Teal'c told Daniel and Jack about a mystical Jaffa sex technique that could cause permanent damage if practiced too frequently. He wasn't too specific about the details but he'd called it tenet fah. That was a set of words that Jack troubled himself to remember. He always meant to ask for details. Perhaps now was the time.

Aside from that was the shock that Teal'c and Sam were doing it. He lowered his voice to a whisper, despite the fact that there was no one else in the gym. "Teal'c, are you crazy? You're a married man!"

The warrior stiffened. He frowned. "I am not."

"You're not? No Drey'auc?"

"My wedding to Drey'auc was never consummated," Teal'c explained gently. "She was a gift from Apophis but I had no desire for her and did not touch her. When I became shol'va, she had the marriage annulled and wed another. I was pleased for her."

"Oh." Jack remembered another face from their mutual past. "What about Shaun'ac?"

Grief spread across Teal'c's face and he bowed his head. "She was a priestess. She was not meant to be a wife."

"So you've had nobody," Jack guessed. Part of him was glad he and Carter found each other. "Till Sam." He reached out to touch that huge, sweaty arm, giving it an approving pat. "I'm happy for you both. Just don't let the brass get wind of it."

Suddenly he remembered that look on Carter's face as she talked about her Jaffa teammate. He smacked his palm on his forehead. "Jeez, I am so dense! Even Nintendos can't pass through this brain sometimes. They must be bouncin' off even as we speak."

Teal'c cocked his head, obviously confused.

"Never mind. Must be an alternate universe thing," he sighed and smiled. "So, now it's your turn. I want the lowdown on Carter and Daniel from you. Everything you know and are willing to share, but let's not go into your personal relationship with her. That would just be way too much information."

"You do not wish to know how tenet fah is performed?"

Jack sat up straight, instantly at attention. "I'm all ears. We'll get to the team stuff later."

Teal'c gave an approving nod and launched into a Jaffa Kama Sutra that left Jack shaking like a leaf and as horny as hell, with some definite ideas of things to try when his lover got home.

* * *

The information Daniel had been given about Tinyar just didn't make sense. The Messenetians were intentionally vague about the boy, hinting at a condition that sounded like a fatal disease, yet the child seemed in perfect health. Apparently everyone knew Tinyar though few people actually looked him in the eye or spoke his name. Some went out of their way to avoid the boy, which confused Daniel all the more.

Thoughts of adoption began to circle through the archaeologist's mind, especially when he and Tinyar had time to themselves, just to talk quietly. Hesitantly, Daniel told stories of some of his milder adventures and his proficiency with the difficult language increased under Tinyar's patient tutelage and during the mid-day break, under an increasingly overcast sky, Tinyar took Daniel to his favorite place, a museum filled with relics of the Messenetians' ancient past.

"You are just like I was, as a boy," Daniel confessed shyly. "My parents were seekers of the past and took me with them, searching for history and truth."

"My parents were teachers," Tinyar told him. "We often came here together." The boy slipped his hand into the man's as they walked, tugging him toward the next exhibit. Tinyar's enthusiastic chatter warmed Daniel's heart and he began to feel certain that there was nothing at all wrong with the boy. A sense of attachment was developing, and though he knew he should hold back his heart, he couldn't help himself. He cared about the boy. He could see himself in that child's face and didn't want his own tragic past to be repeated with this bright, sweet-natured boy.

When the noon break was over and Daniel had to return to work, he knelt down to look into Tinyar's eyes. "Why do your people let you go wherever you want? Why do you not go to school like other children?"

Despair rose in those deep green eyes. Tinyar shrugged. "There is no point. I chose to be the Malbin."

"What is that? We do not have this word on my world."

"You have no Day of Absolution?" Tinyar frowned. "Then how can your sins be forgiven? How can you bring back the light?"

That was a pretty lofty concept for one so young but Daniel had already seen how precocious and intelligent Tinyar was. "There are many different beliefs in how that can be accomplished on my world," Daniel explained. "How do your people do it?"

The child just stared at him, confused. Sadness made Tinyar's eyes fill with tears but he sniffed them back. He stroked Daniel's hair gently with one hand and tried to smile. "Don't worry, Daniel. Come to the celebration and you'll be free. I'll help you."

"All right. Do I need to bring or wear anything special?"

"No. It's simple, just some talking and prayers. The whole world participates, all at the same time." Tinyar's lower lip began to tremble and the tears he had held back until now fell in a rush. He embraced Daniel fiercely, holding him for a long time.

Sensing the boy's fear and grief, Daniel wished there was something he could do to help. The only thing that came to mind was Cassandra of Hanka, a child whose entire culture had been destroyed by the Goa'uld Nirrti. SG-1 had brought Cassie home with them, and Dr. Fraiser had adopted her. Perhaps there might be someone else at the base interested in raising a beautiful little boy like Tinyar.

Maybe even someone like himself.

Daniel sighed against Tinyar's blond hair. In order for him to bring the boy home, he'd have to give up the SGC. This was essentially the same dilemma Nick Ballard had wrestled with once upon a time. The choice this time, however, was not discovering Man's past but ensuring humanity's future.

"I wish I could take you home with me, Tinyar," Daniel whispered, his hands stroking over the boy's small back and soft hair. "I wish I could raise you on Earth."

Tinyar's arms tightened and his sniffles turned to sobs.

Daniel felt his heart breaking as his feelings for Tinyar's suddenly became apparent to him. Daniel could be an advisor and manage the SGC's academic staff from Earth, with only occasional forays off world. He could do that... if he was still single. With Jack in his life now, Daniel would need to talk it over with his partner first, make sure it was all right with Jack to adopt a child. Jack had lost a son just about this age and Daniel felt sure the boy might help fill the empty place in O'Neill's heart.

For a long time, Daniel just held the child close, remembering his own tortured childhood. He blinked back tears, struggling to hold onto his emotions, to be strong for the boy. When Tinyar pulled away, Daniel pulled his dress handkerchief out of his breast pocket and wiped away the tears rolling down that precious little face. He held the cloth around Tinyar's nose and commanded him to blow, then gave the hankie to the child to keep.

"I will check into it when I go home tomorrow," Daniel promised, taking that face in both hands. "I have to ask permission there before I try here. Okay? Will you wait for me?"

Tinyar's face screwed up into a grimace of pain and loss. He couldn't speak so he just nodded his head. Clutching the hankie to his chest, he turned and started off across the well-manicured lawn toward the orphanage. Ten feet away, he stopped and turned back. "I love you, Daniel," he called in a grief-stricken voice, and ran the rest of the way home. 

Daniel waved, letting the tears free to trickle down his cheeks. A sense of deja vu settled over him as he remembered running away from Nick when his grandfather told him that he couldn't take him. His whole world had come crashing down around him that day. He had vowed never to need anybody ever again and now he was watching another boy try desperately not to hope this near stranger would keep his promise. 

Jack would just have to understand. This was something Daniel had to do, both for himself and for Tinyar, and he felt certain Jack would approve.

He smiled as the boy disappeared into the building. There was still a great deal of archaeological work to do on his last day, not to mention the meetings with the Messenetian council and he had to find out where and when the celebration would be held so he could make arrangements to attend. If Tinyar wanted him there, nothing would stop him from going. He needed to let the boy understand that someone cared. 

Even though it wasn't someone from his own world.

Daniel looked up at the darkening sky and shivered. He'd never seen cloud cover so black, so dense before and it brought a sense of instinctive fear with it. The sun was all but blotted out and all the city lights were on to counteract the darkness. He hurried back to the council chamber with a sense of foreboding nagging at his consciousness, hoping it was just the sky and nothing ominous looming in his future.

* * *

Jack stood on the mirror platform, looking out over the landscape, his back to the dead city. Carter was on the other side of the mirror, dialing different universes and looking through the glass at the possibilities. Sometimes there would be other SGC teams looking back at her, sometimes natives from the city when it was alive and sometimes the landscape was barren, as this one was. She was having a great time, spouting theories and scientific babble in a non-stop flood.

"We should take this back to the base for more research," she declared at one point.

"No, we should not. Bad idea, Carter."

She spared him a glance. "Why?"

"No iris. We have that thing anywhere on Earth and alternate universe Goa'uld can just walk right onto the planet. Thanks but we'll leave it here and make it a little harder for 'em to get to us."

"Oh. Right." 

Eventually her chatter bugged him enough that he wandered off the platform, past Teal'c and down the broad street to where Kawalski stood, keeping an eye on the city for those predatory animals they'd encountered on their first trip to that world. Jack strolled closer, hoping to engage the man in conversation. Charlie had been generous and this would be the last time they worked together on the same team. Both of them knew that.

"You okay?" Jack asked quietly.

"Yeah. You?" Kawalski's sharp eyes gave him a brief but assessing glance.

Jack shrugged. "Good. Good." Silence lapsed between them, until Kawalski brought up hockey and steered them into familiar territory. Slowly, Jack brought the conversation back to the team and specifically, to Daniel. "What do you know about him, Charlie?"

"Kinda shy," Kawalski offered casually. "He's usually the first one with his hand out, ready to make friends with the aliens we meet, though. Which is strange, because he doesn't like to be touched. Doesn't talk much to the rest of us." He grinned. "Looks like he's warmed to you, though. He was talkin' your ear off the last time I saw you together."

Jack scowled. "Yeah, well, that's gotta change. We may be roomies, at least temporarily but there's only so much of that chatter I can stand and God knows the guy can talk. About anything and everything... except himself." Jack let that settle on the other man's mind. "What do you know about him, personally?"

Kawalski's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean?"

"Those little scars all over his chest and back. Ever seen 'em?"

That made the major look a little troubled. "Yeah, a couple times. He prefers to shower alone after missions but that's not always possible." Charlie cleared his throat. "I did ask about 'em once."

"And?" Jack prodded when the other man fell silent.

Kawalski's gaze was haunted when he looked at Jack again. "Cigarette burns, just what they look like. That's why he was removed from his first foster home. Didn't have much luck with the other one, either."

Jack looked at the ground. "That's what I figured. His psych evals okay?"

Charlie grinned. "Steady as a rock," he shot back proudly. "Base shrink says that people who survive abuse basically turn out one of two ways, either they become abusers themselves, or they do a one- eighty and become ultra gentle. That's our Daniel. Kindest soul I ever met. He'd give his life for you. Hell, he'd do it for people he never even met, without batting an eyelash."

O'Neill's steady gaze never wavered. "That's exactly how he died in my universe, Kawalski," he growled. "Stopped a bomb from going off on a world we'd just contacted. Died of radiation poisoning that turned his insides to goo. Took about eighteen hours before it killed him. There was nothing we could do."

The major blanched, his color going suddenly gray. "Ah, Jeez. Jack, I'm sorry." He sighed and wiped his face with one hand, obviously trying to collect himself. "You can trust this Daniel at your back. He won't let you down, either."

"I was on that planet at the time," Jack added softly. "He saved my life, too."

A silence filled with pain passed between the two men before Jack broke it. "Do you like him, Charlie?"

That surprised the major a little. "Well, uh, yeah, I guess. He's okay. He just...I dunno. Don't spend much time with him. He's always got his head buried in a book."

"Or writing one," Jack mused. "You ever read any of his novels?"

Kawalski's eyebrows lifted up under his Boonie hat. "He's written novels? No, I didn't know."

"Maybe you should read 'em sometime. I bought a couple copies of the set yesterday. I'll lend you one."

"What kinda novels are they?"

Jack couldn't help cracking a grin. "Science fiction. Go figure."

With a laugh, Kawalski nodded. "Yeah, considering what we do..."

"He wrote these before he joined the SGC. Based on his absurd theories that got him laughed out of the archaeologists' club. It's scary how right he was about all of this." Jack waved a hand around, signifying the alien world on which they now stood. His eyes fell on Kawalski's face again. "He knew, Charlie. He knew all of this was out here. All he was missing was the 'gate."

"And Catherine Langford gave him that." Charlie shook his head. "Yeah, I'd like to read 'em. May take me a while. I'm not a fast reader."

"I've got an extra set. I'm reading those." Jack's eyes scanned the scenery again, alert for movement.

"So, is he any good?" 

Jack's gaze shot back to the major's face. He frowned. "At what?"

"Writing. Are the stories good?"

"Oh, yeah." Jack wasn't really surprised at how well the linguist had taken to storytelling. "You won't want to put 'em down."

"Wait till my next weekend off, then." Charlie surveyed the empty city as well. "So what do you think of my Carter and Teal'c?"

Jack grinned, his fingers stroking the smooth shaft of his P- 90. "They'll do, Charlie. They'll do just fine."

* * *

The auditorium was filled with people. At the front of the cavernous room was a large stage. Devices that served to record and transmit images all over the world were aimed at the stage or sweeping the audience and Daniel noted that a few of them hesitated on him as he took a seat front and center in the audience, at the foot of the stage. 

He studied the display on which all eyes were focused. The stage was aglitter with reflective surfaces, aglow with lights, sparkling and beautiful. At the center was a small white chair that looked rather like a throne. Above that arched a mirrored dome studded with small spikes that looked like a giant crown of some kind. At the base of the chair was a mirrored plate in the shape of a semi-circle, also studded with the same kind of short projections as on the dome. It was very ornate, built with obvious craftsmanship and great care but Daniel couldn't discern its purpose.

At the appointed hour the audience was seated and the house lights dimmed. All the transmission devices were trained on the stage and Daniel watched as the Messenetian high council escorted the woman he recognized as their revered high priestess mount the stage. He listened to their greetings, to their state of the world address and their thanks for the new relations with the Tau'ri. They talked about hope and progress and cleansing, of restoring the light and banishing darkness.

The ceremony delved into their religious tenets, about the sacrifice made far back in Messenet's past by their savior. From the way they described the character, Daniel could easily draw parallels to Jesus Christ, except that their icon had been a mere child, not a grown man. Through the child's wisdom and purity, the people were cleansed of their sins and sought to renew their faith by once more dedicating themselves to live better lives.

Daniel smiled as he saw Tinyar approach them from the wings, dressed in a neat white suit with a silver cap on his head and a sparkling white scarf around his neck. A great roar went up from the crowd at his appearance and Daniel cheered as well, standing up and waving his hands in the air in the Messenetian form of applause. This was the kind of love and respect the boy deserved, he told himself. The comments he'd made to the council must have had a positive effect.

Maybe it wouldn't be necessary for him to adopt Tinyar after all. Maybe the boy could just come for a visit to Earth when this was all over. Regardless, Daniel would still follow up on Tinyar's care and see him whenever he could. Things were suddenly looking much brighter for the boy.

Daniel watched Tinyar take his seat in the white chair. The boy's eyes searched the audience for him and Daniel waved back at him, smiling encouragement. Tinyar smiled, his chin trembling. A tear spilled over his cheek and was scrubbed quickly away. Then Tinyar leaned back and looked up at the dome as the priestess began to chant and the audience fell silent.

All around him, Messenetians began to put on silver gloves, their hands still waving in the air. Someone handed a single glove to Daniel and he put it on as the others did, holding his hand out toward the stage. He felt his heart swell with pride as he listened to the words, translating them as they were spoken aloud.

Tinyar's people adored him, of that Daniel was now certain.

He kept his eyes on the boy, watching him grip the arms of the chair until his fingertips turned white.

* * *

Jack stood in the elevator after punching the button and spied a familiar shape bending over the security desk to sign in. He grinned, holding back the door and preparing to greet the diminutive woman once she saw him. Unfortunately, she didn't look up, just shifted the bundle of papers and accordion files in her arms as she hurried toward the elevator.

Selecting the floor for the infirmary, Jack waited for the moment to arrive.

Dr. Janet Fraiser stepped into the car, reaching for the panel with her free hand and flexing a polite smile of greeting as she finally eyed her elevator-mate.

"Hi, doc," Jack said calmly. He gave a little wave.

Fraiser dropped her papers and flattened herself against the wall with a little squeal of fright.

"Colonel...? God!" she squeaked, breathe heaving.

"Nope. Still Colonel O'Neill." He was enjoying this. After all the needles the woman had poked into his behind and various other parts, not to mention the yearly physicals, it was nice to see her ready to crawl out of her skin for once. "Relax. I'm not a ghost. Not resurrected or anything weird like that." He chuckled. "I came from an alternate universe."

"Holy Hannah," Fraiser wheezed, apparently collecting herself rapidly. 

"Still hangin' with Carter, I see," he observed with quiet amusement.

She hesitated before bending down to pick up her things. "Colonel, I... Damn, I just got back from a lovely three week vacation and I think I need another one already." She kept glancing up at him.

He squatted down to help and stood up with her.

Then she reached out with one finger and poked his arm. Letting out a sigh of relief, she said, "In the four years I've been with the SGC, I've seen some pretty strange things. You, however, are the strangest."

Jack flashed a rakish grin. "Why, thank you." He leaned a little closer and lowered his voice conspiratorially. "I'll bet you say that to all the colonels." 

She gave him a familiar roll of the eyes. "No, sir. Just to you. I don't know how the hell you got here but we're glad to have you. Back. Or... I'm not sure what I mean. But welcome."

The doors slid open on her floor. Jack held the door open for her, his brows twitching together. "Just four years? Our Dr. Fraiser was with us for five. What kept you?"

The woman frowned at him as she exited, walking backward as she tried to figure out what that meant. "Have you had a thorough checkup, sir?"

"Inside and out, thanks to Dr. Warner. I'm cleared for duty and back on SG-1." He gave her a happy little salute as the doors closed between them. He was glad this SGC had a Fraiser. When he first arrived, he had neglected to ask about her on seeing Dr. Warner in charge of the infirmary. The guy might be a great surgeon but he didn't know beans about figuring out alien diseases. That was Fraiser's strong suit, applying her gigantic intellect to problems they encountered along the way and saving their butts nearly every time. Now that he knew she was there, refreshed from some well- earned time off, he found it comforting.

SG-1 tended to be hard on the medical staff. He just hoped his luck would be better in this universe than it had been in the last.

* * *

Daniel sat on the cushions, his face turned toward the window. He didn't move when the door opened and closed, just continued to stare out through the latticed carving.

Jack ambled across the luxurious room, taking note that the bed was barely rumpled and shaking his head. That was Daniel, never taking proper care of himself even when he didn't need to push limits. "Hey, Daniel. Ready to go home? You're a couple hours late, so Hammond sent me to see if everything was all right."

"Jack?" Daniel turned just his head in the direction of the address.

"Didja miss me? I'm ready for some brute animal sex when we get home, just to welcome you back properly. Teal'c told me about some Jaffa stuff that we just have to take for a spin." Jack came up behind the window seat, feeling the heat of the late morning sun filtering through the beautifully carved window covering. 

"It's morning, isn't it?" Daniel asked, an edge to his voice.

"Duh." Jack extended a hand toward the window. "Earth to Daniel Jackson. What planet are you on, anyway?" He realized that wasn't at all what he meant to say, and that they were on a world called Messenet. "Strike that. You okay?"

Daniel's eyes moved up to Jack's face but didn't focus there. He blinked and then lowered his head, looking down into his lap. He was holding a thin strip of some sparkly white fabric, clinging to it like he needed it for some reason. When he spoke again, his voice was soft, barely audible. "Jack... I can't see. I'm blind."

Shock and fear bolted through the colonel. He grabbed his lover's shoulders and pushed him back, trying to make him look up but Daniel just kept his head down, fighting him off clumsily. "What happened? Did somebody hurt you?"

With a shrug, Daniel said, "I don't think so. I feel fine. Things were going well here, more or less. No animosity, no real tensions. I voiced some concerns over some of their social practices but they took it as cultural differences and we all moved on." He frowned. "There was a celebration last night. I don't remember much of it except...I woke up this morning and thought it was still night." He sighed and stretched out a hand toward the window. "Till I felt the heat from the sunlight."

Jack straightened, his insides churning "I'm takin' you back to the infirmary right now," he growled, "and then I'm comin' back here to find out what these people did to you." He pulled Daniel to his feet, hooked his hand around the man's bicep and led him slowly toward the door. "Anything you need to collect from here before we go?" He was aware how gentle his voice sounded in contrast to the turmoil inside. He wasn't mad at Daniel but Jack just might kill whoever had done this to him.

* * *

Dr. Fraiser opened the folder and looked up at the worried faces around the briefing table. "I've got all the test results and I've spoken with Daniel about them, but I'm afraid he's in denial."

"Of?" Jack prodded, eyebrows raised.

Janet sighed. "I've checked his eyes, done brain scans, a tox screen and dozens of other tests. Aside from a little alcohol residue and slight dehydration from the celebration he told us about, he's pretty much okay. There was some irritation to his retina, probably caused from a bright flash of light, but his eyes are fine and should be transmitting information normally." 

"So why can't Daniel see?" Kawalski demanded anxiously. "It's been six hours since he got back to the base. If this was just temporary, wouldn't it have worn off by now?"

Janet pointed with her pen to the computer screen on the table. "There's also a slight anomaly in the hippocampus area of his brain." Indicating the area, a miniscule off-color speck in the midst of all that grey matter, she explained. "This is the area where short term memory is stored. This shows there has been some trauma or alteration to it, which is likely why he can't remember the events of the previous evening. The source for this disturbance could be biological, mechanical... or emotional."

"You mean Dr. Jackson could be suffering from some psychological trauma?" General Hammond prodded gently.

The doctor sighed. "I'm afraid so. All the data suggests that there is nothing physically wrong with him."

"So why can't he see?" Jack frowned.

Teal'c's right eyebrow lifted as he regarded the colonel. "Perhaps there is something he does not wish to see."

Jack's face was the picture of resentment. "That was a low blow, T. I know I'm no beauty queen but..."

"Colonel, I think what Teal'c means is that Daniel's mind has shut down in that area because of something he's seen. It's called hysterical blindness," Fraiser explained. Her expression was drawn. "Until we can help him find the reason he's done this to himself, the condition will be permanent."

O'Neill turned away slightly, eyes rolling closed, his expression filled with grief and sadness. He rubbed a long-fingered hand down his face and glanced at Carter. "So I guess using that Goa'uld healing thingy won't help, either?"

"I'm afraid not, colonel," the doctor agreed. "I'm suggesting he start some sessions with Dr. MacKenzie to see if he can help--"

Jack's eyes widened with alarm. "No. Making Daniel go to that man won't help, trust me. Let me work with him for a while. He trusts me and if anybody can get to the bottom of this, it'll be me." He paused, glancing around at the skeptical expressions turned toward him. "I'll irritate it out of him," he explained harshly.

Janet smiled and shook her head. "I still think Dr. MacKenzie would be the best solution here. He's an expert in the field of psychology and you're not, Colonel O'Neill. You could just make things worse."

"In my universe, I have a degree in psychology," Jack snapped, "and one in English, if you must know, but I don't advertise that fact. I do know a little something about reading people, doc." He sighed and relaxed a little. "The condition is a dissociative disorder, a conversion reaction to emotional trauma."

Sam was watching the colonel's face and shook her head. "I think he's right. If Daniel's going to open up to anybody, it'll be one of us." She looked at the general and straightened, "but I think we should also attack this problem from the other end, sir. Permission for Teal'c, Major Kawalski and myself to go back to Messenet and investigate the events of Daniel's visit."

Hammond glanced at O'Neill. "The Messenetians are our allies," the older man observed. "We've established good relations with them so far. There is no reason to think SG-1 will be in any danger."

"No reason to think Daniel was in any danger when he left for that place either," Jack reminded him angrily. He shot a stern look at Carter. "Take no chances. Stick together and be damned careful."

"Yes, sir." She turned to the general. "Sir?"

Hammond considered a moment longer, glancing up at Teal'c's determined eyes. "All right, Major Kawalski. You have a go."

"Meanwhile," Jack eyed his new C.O. "I'm taking Daniel home. Might as well get started on his...unofficial debriefing."

Janet laid her hand on his forearm. "Be gentle, colonel," she advised. "Whatever upset him to this degree had to be terrible and his mind won't want to go back to that place. I have experience treating this kind of trauma and I know it when I see it."

O'Neill nodded, fiddling with his pen. "I know, but we need him whole." He glanced at the table. "Besides, I know Daniel. This one's not so different from the other one, except maybe a little more fragile. If he stays too long in the dark, doc... it'll kill him." Those brown eyes were afraid when they moved back up to her face.

"Meanwhile, colonel, I'm not sure telling Daniel this is all in his mind will help," the doctor added. "If he believes there's some physical cause, he'll be more likely to try to open up to you. So," she reached into her pocket for some over-the-counter eye drops and a bottle of vitamins, pressing them into O'Neill's hand. "Give him two drops in each eye, every four hours, except at night. The vitamins are low enough dosage you can give them twice a day, morning and night. I'll handle the cover story."

She didn't relish flat-out lying to her patients but sometimes it was necessary. Comfort was a necessary adjunct to all other treatments and Daniel would need all of that he could get. If he believed things were being done to help him get well, his consciousness would orient toward that course and strive to reach it.

Janet knew that the mind was the most powerful medical tool in her arsenal, she knew and she was quite aware that Daniel Jackson was both brilliant and stubborn. This wouldn't be easy but she had to believe his teammates knew him better than she ever would. As she watched her audience drift away, lost in their own thoughts, she began to compose a lovely fabrication about a little-known virus that creates a wall of debris on the back of the eyeball, treatable with eye drops, antibiotics, rest and good nutrition.

It sounded good. She just hoped her patient would take the bait.

* * *

"I know where everything is," Daniel grumbled as Jack led him by the elbow slowly down the hallway to the front door of Daniel's apartment. "I don't need you hovering over me."

"I'm not hovering," Jack shot back, "and I have experience with this sort of thing. My grandmother lost her sight to cataracts when I was sixteen and I stayed with her that summer, helping her learn to get around on her own."

Daniel frowned.

"I know what I'm doin', I swear!" Jack assured him. "Trust me."

"I do trust you, dammit," Daniel griped. "I'm just... this isn't easy."

"I know, Daniel." He unlocked the door, turned off the alarm and watched Daniel wander slowly down the narrow entry, feeling his way with fingers and toes.

"Where do you want me?" Daniel asked, his voice flat, dispirited. 

"That depends. You hungry?"

"Starving. I didn't get breakfast this morning and my stomach says its dinnertime."

"And your stomach's a decent timekeeper. I'll cook. You haul up in front of the TV and watch some..." Jack realized his gaffe and winced. He hurried to catch up to the other man and pulled him into a fierce hug. "Sorry, Daniel. Just get comfy and I'll bring you somethin' to eat in a jiffy." 

Daniel had flinched when Jack touched him, and he reminded himself to make sure Daniel knew when he was about to make contact in the future. He sighed into Daniel's hair and kissed his cheek. "This doesn't change anything between us, you know. I love you, Daniel. We'll get through this."

The embrace was evidently too much for the younger man to bear at the moment. He eased slowly out of Jack's arms, frowning and irritated. "I know, Jack. Just bear with me."

Jack watched Daniel's hands go out as he cleared the entry and turned left. Moving by memory, he made his way toward the piano, fingers slowly sweeping through the air, barely touching the bench sitting just under the keyboard. Jack's belly tightened as he saw his friend carefully pull out the bench and sit down. Daniel raised the cover and smoothed his fingertips down it to the keys. He pressed one or two, fingers stumbling over the raised black keys before settling into place.

"Can you really play that thing?" Jack asked from the kitchen.

"Oh no, not really," Daniel snarked. "Most people who have pianos just keep them as conversation starters, coat racks and for parties. Didn't you know that?"

He started to play and Jack just stared. He was good. Really good. The music was unfamiliar and haunting, sweetly melancholy. It had the complexity of something classical, with the smoothness and rhythm of jazz.

Jack glanced out of the kitchen every so often to keep tabs on his lover. He saw Daniel's hands moving over the keys, his shoulders swaying with the music, right foot pressing on the pedals. Piece after piece of lovely music filled the rooms, it made Jack's insides ache, it was so beautiful.

He remembered that the other Daniel also had a piano in his apartment but Jack had never heard him play. One more omission, one more chance he'd blown to get to know his best friend. What a sorry excuse for a friend he'd been, but that was changing. Jack O'Neill was turning over a new leaf, trying very hard to be the man Daniel Jackson always believed he was. 

O'Neill busied himself making the sandwiches, putting them on two plates and grabbing a beer for himself from the fridge. He brought a bottle of water for Daniel, snagged a bag of chips and headed for the living room with his bounty. He pondered a moment, set his stuff on the table and then moved towards Daniel. He didn't want to just set a plate in the guy's lap. That might startle him if he hadn't heard Jack. "Dinner's in the living room," he declared and waited till Daniel rose, a little sad that the music had stopped. He stepped back, letting Daniel find the way himself and take a seat on the sofa. "One ham sandwich with Swiss cheese and horseradish mustard. Just the way I like it."

Daniel pouted. "I'm not crazy about Swiss," he whined, "but thank you, Jack." His fingers described the edges of the bread before picking it up and lifting it to his mouth.

"Your water's at two o'clock," Jack announced. Carefully, he aimed his backside at the couch beside his host. "Sitting down, now."

Daniel glanced up at his face and straightened, moving his legs off the sofa and putting his feet on the floor while in mid- bite. "Sorry," he mumbled around the mouthful. 

"No prob." Jack nibbled at his sandwich and got about half of it eaten, his mind jumping through hoops to try and figure out how to approach his inquisition. "So, tell me about your trip."

That was a simple start and of course, chatty archaeologist that he was, Daniel took the bait. He described the Goa'uld temple that the Messenetians had just unearthed, which was the reason for their request for him in the first place. Pouring out the mythological details of whatever goddess it was, Daniel fairly shook with excitement over the ramifications of the discovery and how the pieces fitted into Earth history.

All of which was bullshit to Jack.

"What about the elbow-rubbing?" he prompted. "Anybody take a dislike to you?"

That stopped Daniel cold. 'Clueless' was written all over his face. Everybody liked Daniel, at least, on the surface and he hadn't worn out his welcome with the Messenetians yet. "There weren't any problems, Jack. Like I said, we disagreed on a few cultural things but that was all."

"Details?"

Daniel's eyes slid away. "Stupid stuff. I shouldn't have been sticking my nose into other people's business."

"You always stick your nose into other people's business, Daniel," Jack retorted dryly. "That's where your nose is happiest."

"It was just..." Daniel shrugged. He felt for the coffee table and gently set his empty plate down, fingers making sure it was secure before letting go. "Their state child care sucked."

Jack raised his eyes from his plate and turned to face the other man on the sofa. They were getting somewhere now. "Tell me about it."

"There was this boy, Tinyar. He was about twelve years old, quiet type, bookish. I found him in the library in my quarters. Seems my rooms were next to what they used for an orphanage."

Jack could sense this was important, no matter how off-handed Daniel was playing it.

"The boy didn't have to go to school if he didn't want. Wasn't well supervised and as far as I could see, nobody really cared about him. In fact, I watched people turn away when they saw him coming. That just pissed me off."

Jack knew it would. That had been Daniel, once upon a time, a ward of the state after his parents died and his grandfather rejecting him. Jack had found out about the whole ordeal when they'd taken Nick Ballard to that alien planet with the leptons and Nintendos. Having all that brought up fresh again would be difficult enough for Daniel and coupled with another parentless child...?

"So you talked to people," Jack guessed.

"And couldn't get them to care," Daniel growled. He stood up, practically vibrating with tension, took one step and bumped his shins against the table. He backed up and sat back down, leaning forward, hugging himself. He sighed and when he spoke again, his voice was softer. Sad. "I thought about bringing him back here with me. Tried to figure if there was any way I could raise him myself. I..." 

Jack heard the tears in his voice before he saw them in Daniel's eyes. He reached out and laid his hand on the other man's shoulder, wanting to comfort him but Daniel jerked away, startled by the contact.

"You're strung pretty tight, there, Danny," he observed softly. "Somethin' bothering you?"

"I just..." Daniel gulped and brushed his palms over his face, then returned to hugging himself. "I wasn't expecting you to touch me, that's all."

"Well, I'm gonna do it again, so keep yer skin on." Jack moved closer, sitting right beside his partner. He laid his hand on Daniel's back and started rubbing, slowly. "Keep talkin', Daniel. I'm listening."

However attractive Jack's offer might have been in different circumstances, Daniel didn't want to be touched just then. He scooted away on the cushions, then got up and took a few cautious steps around the table, feeling his way with hands and feet. "That's pretty much it, Jack. I knew there was no way I could do that, no matter how much I wanted to. I mean that's why Sam didn't adopt Cassie. She spends more time at work than at home. It would be the same thing with me. Children need constant reinforcement of love and security. Parenting isn't part time."

Jack noted that Daniel didn't mention Charlie, because Sara had been there full time. He let the unspoken reminder of his son slide quietly away into the tender place in his heart where he kept those memories. "You're right. There wasn't anything you could have done for him. Was he okay when you left?"

Daniel stopped moving, his hands on the fireplace mantel. Fingers gripped the ledge and held on tightly. "I don't know. I don't remember saying goodbye. I must have, though..." His voice trailed off as his head bowed. Then he turned slowly around, facing where Jack sat on the sofa. "I'm tired, Jack. I'd just like to have a hot bath and go to bed. Okay?"

"Sure. Let's go to the bathroom."

"I can do that by myself," Daniel shot back irritably. "I'm blind, not crippled, and I know where everything is."

"I don't wanna have to scrub toothpaste out of your hair or clean the toilet seat when you miss. I'm helping. So there."

A sudden smile quirked at one corner of Daniel's mouth and was gone. "Okay. I'll demonstrate that I'm capable of handling this temporary setback and then you'll leave me alone. Right?"

Jack got up. He looked into those big blue eyes that couldn't see him and felt his heart burn a little. "Daniel, you're going to need help until you get over this," he said quietly. "I know you're a smart guy and I know you're used to doing things yourself but this time... Let me help you. Please. For me. It'll help me get through this, if I think I'm needed."

Tears welled up and were blinked away. That mouth trembled just slightly. He bowed his head and then nodded. "Okay. If it'll make you feel better, Jack." He turned and navigated toward the bedroom, slid his fingers on the wall, then turned without a hitch in the right direction. 

Jack followed him into the bathroom, watched him disrobe and neatly fold his clothes into Jack's waiting hands. Daniel set the temperature for his bath water and got into the tub for a soak. When he was settled, Jack took his hand and guided it to the soap, shampoo and conditioner, telling him which was which and then left the room. He checked to make sure there was a fresh towel ready for use, put Daniel's dirty clothes into the hamper and closed the door behind him.

Fetching the suitcase from the entryway where he'd left it, Jack started putting Daniel's things back where he thought they belonged. Then he went to use the phone on the kitchen bar and reported in. "This is gonna take longer than I thought, doc," he said wearily. "How 'bout if I get him drunk?"

"Not a good idea," Janet told him. "His mental stability is precarious right now. We don't want him going off the deep end, so no mind altering substances of any kind, please. Are you okay, colonel?"

"It's hard seeing him like this," Jack answered honestly, "and I think it's gonna get worse. Isn't it?"

Janet sighed into his ear. "I'm afraid so. The important thing is getting him well. If you can't handle it..."

"I didn't say that, doc. We'll be fine."

There was a pause and Jack was sure he heard Dr. Fraiser smiling. "You're beginning to sound like Daniel, colonel. Every time I ask him something, his automatic answer is 'I'm fine' when he so obviously isn't."

"I think I'm insulted," he shot back, a slow smile creasing his face. "Night, doc. Go home to your kid. Get some rest. With SG-1 around, you're gonna need it... and remind me to have a chat with you about alternate universe diseases."

"I've read your report, colonel, and I must say, I'm fascinated with the idea. I can hardly wait. Good night, sir."

Jack cleaned up the dishes and watched a little TV and when he started to feel his own eyelids drooping he got up to check on his lover. The bed was empty, so he knocked softly and opened the bathroom door. Daniel had the towel wrapped around his waist, his hair still dripping slightly. His toothbrush was gripped in his left hand, a tube of Jack's new stimulating mint body lotion in his right, its spout just touching the finger he had placed at the lower end of the bristles to guide placement of what he obviously thought was toothpaste.

"That's gonna taste terrible," Jack observed.

Daniel turned his head briefly, eyes vacant. "It's toothpaste. I sniffed."

"St. Ives Mellow Mint Body Crème," Jack assured him, "and I exfoliate, too, in case you're about to criticize my skin care regimen. I look good for such an old fart, because I take care of myself."

Aiming his eyes down at the tube, Daniel gave a sniff. "Not toothpaste?"

Jack took a step into the little bathroom, picked up the toothpaste and took the other tube out of Daniel's hand. "See? You need me."

For a moment, Daniel stood with both hands frozen in the air, looking down with his sightless eyes at what he'd been about to do. Then they fell, objects in his grip clattering on the bathroom counter. His hands pressed against the faux marble briefly and then came back up to his face.

"I can't do this, Jack," he groaned. "I can't be blind. I have to see to read my books, to decipher the inscriptions. My job can't be done in Braille." There was panic in his face as he turned toward his friend. "I can't just sit around and teach stuff I know is wrong. I can't even work on a dig, for cryin' out loud! Jesus, Jack. I can't be blind. Help me! Oh, God, help me."

Jack stepped forward, pulling the man into a firm embrace, holding him. "I will, Daniel. This is only temporary, just like you said." His voice was soft, filled with warmth. "We'll beat it. Trust me?"

He felt Daniel nod against his neck.

"I'm scared, Jack. What if Dr. Fraiser's wrong? What if it's some alien organism I picked up on Messenet? One we can't cure?"

"Jolinar can work that healing thingy on you. We'll fix it, Daniel. I'll help you." He stood there, holding the man for what seemed like an inordinate amount of time. Daniel hadn't had much hugging in his life and Jack could give him that.

The younger man pulled away, his hands sliding from Jack's back to his shoulders, up his neck to his face. 

Jack stood very still, closing his eyes, letting those work- roughened fingers smooth over his forehead, his eyelids, nose, mouth and chin. He wanted to ask why Daniel wanted to touch his face like that, when he knew perfectly well what his lover looked like but he didn't. That would be for later, when Daniel got his sight back. 

"Thanks, Jack," he said softly, and moved away. He edged past his lover and found his way to the bed, turned it down and dropped the towel on the floor before climbing under the covers.

"Don't you want your PJs?" Jack asked, pulling them out of the drawer where he'd put them earlier. 

"Yeah. Thanks." Daniel held his hands out to receive them.

"I'll come to bed in a minute," Jack announced, placing the garments on Daniel's lap. "I unpacked for you but I've got a couple things left to do yet." He glanced back into the bathroom and set everything out properly. "Toothbrush is to the right of the sink, toothpaste next to it. Floss next to that."

Daniel didn't move like a blind man. His head aimed down at his hands as he felt along the clothes, figuring out which were pants and which was shirt, putting them on correctly. It seemed like he was looking at things, probably out of habit but if the condition persisted, Jack was certain that would change. Once his brain knew turning his head was a waste of energy, he'd stop doing it.

That would just kill Jack. If that happened, if Daniel got comfortable with the darkness, he'd never come out of it and Daniel Jackson couldn't live in the dark forever. He was a creature of the light; in darkness he would wither up and die.

Jack finished straightening up the apartment, making sure everything was where Daniel usually kept it. He checked the alarm system, turned off the lights, flipped on the one that shone on the balcony outside as a safety precaution and padded into the bedroom. He glanced at Daniel, lying on his pillow with eyes wide open, his face utterly blank.

Slipping into sweats and a T-shirt for the night, Jack went to fetch the eye drops, vitamins and a glass of water. "I almost forgot your meds," he said, sitting on the side of the bed. "Touching your face now." He grasped the smooth skin with thumb and forefinger, just above and below Daniel's left eye, holding it open as he put the drops in one eye, then the other. He put a tissue from the nightstand into Daniel's hand so he could catch the runoff with it and when that was done, Daniel sat up and held out a hand for the pill and the water glass.

That done, he slid back under the blankets with a sigh.

"Getting in bed, now." Jack slid under the covers beside him and scooted close.

Daniel edged away.

"Why don't you want me touching you?" he asked gently.

"I don't know. I just...feel weird."

"I love you, Daniel. So much I hardly slept without you while you were gone." That was true. Jack had been miserable, pacing most of those nights away until exhaustion overtook him, managing only a few hours' sleep at most. He'd been worried sick that something would happen to Daniel, and as always, that sixth sense was on the money. "I missed you like crazy and need to be with you. Will you let me hold you, just for a little while?"

It sounded like begging, but Jack didn't care.

Daniel turned toward the sound of his partner's voice and sighed. "Okay, Jack." Daniel moved closer and lay woodenly on his pillow as Jack's arm draped around him.

"This isn't working for me," Jack carped after a minute. He sat up, yanked the pillow out from under Daniel's head and added it to the one behind himself, propping up into a sitting position and ignoring the irritated outburst from his bedmate. "Okay, now move over here," he ordered.

"On top of you?" Daniel spluttered. "No way. I'm not in the mood, Jack."

O'Neill spread his legs and thumped the mattress between them. "Right here. Sort of recline against me. That'll feel better. C'mon, I'll help you."

With an exasperated sigh, Daniel reached across and felt where Jack wanted him to go. He sat between Jack's outstretched legs and carefully leaned back against the older man's chest. Jack wrapped his arms loosely around Daniel's torso and after shifting his package to a more comfortable position beneath Daniel's back; Jack raised his legs on either side of the other man's hips.

Jack smiled. "This is nice. I like this."

After a moment, Daniel murmured, "Yeah. It is nice. Good idea."

Jack leaned down and kissed the top of that head. "Good night, Danny," he whispered, closing his eyes.

Daniel said something in a foreign language that sounded incredibly evocative. Jack wanted to ask what it meant but by the time he got the words out, Daniel was sound asleep in his arms and that, Jack decided, was the very best place for him to be.

* * *

"Guilt and regret..."

Jack awakened at the sound of those words, so clear in the darkened room, instantly alert to the stress in Daniel's voice.

"...in darkness dwell... No. No!" Daniel tossed violently to one side. 

Instinctively, Jack's body moved in response and Daniel jerked upright, panting heavily, clutching at his head.

"No!" he shouted. "No, don't! Tinyar!"

"Daniel," Jack called before he touched his shoulder. "It's okay. You were having a nightmare."

"Where am I? Turn the lights on," Daniel demanded, flinching away.

"You're at home," Jack told him. "In our bed, with me." He turned on the bedside lamp and saw Daniel's head jerk at the sound of the switch clicking on.

"Oh, God," he moaned as he remembered and slumped forward, head in his hands. "I'm blind. I forgot."

"It's okay. We're working on fixing that." Jack leaned forward and put both hands on Daniel's back rubbing gently. "Let me touch you, Daniel. I need this." He'd felt the man twitch away and knew Daniel needed this comfort, whether his body wanted it or not. The jerks were instinctive reactions, he knew. Kawalsky, Carter and Teal'c had all made the observation that their Daniel didn't like to be touched.

He was uncomfortable with it because he'd never been comforted before. His history had been filled with touch resulting in pain and Jack was going to have to work to change that programming. It might not be possible to correct all of it. He might be stuck with Daniel flinching at first contact forever but he hoped not. Daniel loved him, was in love with him and he would instinctively want to give Jack whatever he wanted. As long as Daniel believed the touching was something he was doing for Jack, he'd allow it but Jack knew this was for both of them. He wanted to touch Daniel for purely selfish reasons, because he liked it, because it felt so damn wonderful, because he loved Daniel and Daniel needed to be touched so he could learn to associate it with comfort and love, rather than pain.

"Hey, why don't you cuddle up beside me here?" he offered and Daniel moved obediently to his side, curling up with his head on Jack's chest, hands folded up under his chin. Jack pulled the covers over them both and slipped his arm around Daniel's waist, stroking his hair with the other hand.

"What were you dreaming about?" Jack murmured.

"I don't remember." The answer was terse. Tense. And a lie.

"I love you, Daniel." That was a low and sneaky move but necessary. The unspoken message was that Jack knew Daniel was lying; that he trusted him to open up when he was ready.

"I love you, too," Daniel growled, an edge of anger in his voice. He obviously didn't like to be prodded and understood the consequences of his deceit. He sighed.

Jack reached over and switched off the lamp.

"Turn it back on!" Daniel sat up, instantly unnerved.

Hope flared in Jack's chest. "Did you see something?" He reached for the lamp and clicked the switch.

"No, I just... Thank you. I..." He lay down on Jack's chest again and then adjusted until his face was on the pillow next to Jack's head. His hand reached up to Jack's face and rested, palm against cheek. "I just wanted it on, in case..."

"Okay. We'll sleep with the lights on." Jack embraced him; sleep settling in and making his eyelids impossible to keep open. Hope died a quick death with Daniel's explanation, making Jack weary all over again.

Guilt and regret, he remembered. In darkness dwell. He'd slip that in somewhere during the next attempt to refresh Daniel's memory, as gently as he could. The sound of those words was filled with unbearable agony as they tumbled off Daniel's lips in his sleep and Jack was certain they were the key to bringing back Daniel's sight.

* * *

Carter eyed the nervous Messenetians. "We'd like to talk with the council about Dr. Jackson," she stated, stepping forward to offer the ritual hand gestures the aliens used in greeting.

Some of the people waiting for them she recognized from a previous visit. A nervous looking man with long gray hair stepped forward and smiled. "I learning English for you," he announced. "I translate. Vilyu, my name is."

Sam stepped back a little, cozying up to her teammates. "Uh-oh. I remember Daniel telling me how difficult their language is to learn. Not many of the Messenetians have learned to speak English since first contact and I'm not sure we can trust their translator to be as accurate as we need. Maybe we should ask General Hammond to send Dr. Rothman. He and Daniel were working together on the initial relations proposal. He might be better than their guy. What do you think, major?"

Kawalsky frowned. "I think they look like they got somethin' to hide. So yeah, I'll head back to the base and put in the request. You two wanna wait, or get started without me?" 

"It wouldn't look very good for us all to just leave right after we got here, so Teal'c and I will stay. We'll try to make some progress while you're gone. Head for the council hall when you get back."

The major nodded grimly and offered a curt bow to the alien contingent as he turned around and headed back to the gate.

Sam smiled and stepped forward. "Thank you, Vilyu. We're very anxious to find out what happened to our friend."

Vilyu's face looked suddenly drawn. "Ill he is?" He waved a hand in front of his eyes to indicate blindness. "Saw Dr. Jackson before he left, we did. Sad, it is."

A lump formed in Carter's throat but she swallowed it down. "Yes. He can't see. We need to know what happened to him last night, where he went, what he did, what he ate, who he talked to; things like that. We're trying to help him because he can't remember all of the events." She touched her temple for emphasis.

The alien frowned. His eyes grew sad. "Great sin, he has, Dr. Jackson? Sorrow for him, we."

"This is going to be more difficult than I thought," Sam whispered to her companion. "I can barely understand them. I'm really not sure what they mean."

"Nor am I, shemnet," Teal'c returned softly, using a Jaffa term of endearment that he could not utter in front of others at the SGC. "Perhaps we should see where he went during his last day on this world."

"Vilyu, we'd like to go to the places Daniel went yesterday. We're looking for anything that might have made him sick." She knelt down and opened the sample case she'd brought along with her. "I'd like to take samples of the foods he ate, things he drank. That sort of thing."

Colonel O'Neill had suggested that as a cover, a way to disarm the Messenetians into thinking there might be a physical cause for Daniel's illness and hopefully nudge them into letting something slip. Sam agreed it was a good idea, though the ruse would do them little good if they couldn't understand any confessions they might hear. They really needed Daniel but Rothman would have to do.

The interpreter nodded in agreement and led them away. The council members and others followed along, all looking quite worried as Vilyu explained what Sam had said. Several shot fearful glances at the SGC representatives and began to whisper among themselves. They hurried forward, putting some space between themselves and the Tau'ri team.

That gave Sam a chance for a private conversation with Teal'c.

"Now, see, that's exactly what I mean." She gestured at the distant group of aliens. "We need to know what they're saying."

"We will uncover the truth, shemnet. We will help Danieljackson recover his sight."

A small smile slid over her lips and a warm glow heated her up inside. "You really shouldn't be calling me that in the field, shemnet," she chastised gently. "One of these days, you're going to let it slip and everybody will know about us."

"Danieljackson has known for some time," Teal'c assured her. "Kawalsky cannot see what is so plainly before him. But O'Neill knows, also."

Sam gasped. "How could he possibly...I mean, Daniel's been around us long enough and he's...he's so insightful, so I can see... Kawalsky's dense as lead but the colonel? He hasn't even known us for four days yet! How can he...?"

"I told him."

The captain whirled around and swatted his arm. "How could you? We'll be..."

"He will say nothing," Teal'c assured her quietly. A shadow smile ghosted the corners of his mouth. Amusement glinted in his beautiful dark eyes.

"How do you know that?" she demanded, hot with guilt and embarrassment. She never intended to get in so deep with this or any other man on her team but it evolved between them so slowly, so naturally that she barely felt it until it was way too late. She hadn't regretted it for a moment.

One elegant eyebrow arched. "Because O'Neill and Danieljackson are... doing it."

That stopped her in her tracks. She nearly dropped the sample case. "They are not!" She simply couldn't believe it. They didn't come any straighter than Jack O'Neill. Daniel she could buy but not the colonel. No way.

"They are, shemnet. O'Neill came to this universe in search of a Danieljackson who would be his shemnet. He has found him."

The very idea made her brain tingle. She felt light-headed and fell into step with her lover as they walked toward the council hall. "Oh, my God, Teal'c! This is just... Oh, my God." She put a hand to her head, trying to pull her brain back into usable format. "That is so... hot. The two of them together..."

Then she smiled. It made perfect sense. That speech O'Neill made in the briefing room had been as much a declaration of love as of loyalty to the SGC and the war against the Goa'uld. The Jack O'Neill she knew, the one they had lost, would never have traded universes if he thought his side would lose. He'd have stayed and fought on the end, and so, she suspected, would this one. The only thing that would make him leave everything he knew behind was love, because Jack O'Neill was a man who rarely let people know how he felt, even though he felt deeply. His team knew that, knew he would die for them. They all knew they were loved, every one of them and Sam had seen the way both O'Neill and Jackson bickered like an old married couple, capable of finishing each other's sentences, always somehow knowing what the other was thinking.

She slipped her hand around the Jaffa's arm briefly and gave him a little squeeze. "Have I told you lately how I love the way your mind works?"

Teal'c kept his gaze straight ahead, his voice a soft rumble of pure sexuality. "Tell me again, CaptainCarter."

Sam nudged him lightly, grinning now from ear to ear. "Oooh, you are such a tease!" 

He rumbled low in his throat, a sound of pure pleasure that reminded her of other things. Hot things. Things that were so good they were probably illegal on several worlds.

She sighed and shook her head. "Minds on the job, shemnet," she ordered warmly. "This is for Daniel."

"Indeed," he agreed in a soft purr.

* * *

"What are you doing?" asked Daniel from the piano bench. "I can't hear you."

"Lookin' up some stuff on the Internet," O'Neill answered from the computer station nearby. It had taken him some time to figure out how to find what he wanted, but once he made his way to a search engine, he discovered a great many texts on psychology. After a few more searches, he thought he had some ammunition to use against the demon of hysterical blindness. Dusting off the cobwebs in his brain was no easy matter; he wasn't accustomed to this much deep thought but Daniel needed help and Jack wasn't going to let MacKenzie near him, even though this Daniel was never institutionalized; he never had Ma'chello's little de-Goa'ulding bug inside him to make him crazy.

"What kind of stuff?" Daniel stopped playing and slid to the end of the bench, rising carefully to his feet. Hands sweeping the air, he moved toward the desk where the laptop hummed, his eyes staring blankly straight ahead.

Jack grinned. "Dirty pictures."

A smile touched the corners of Daniel's mouth. "I should've known. Find anything really hot?" His steps grew smaller as he neared the desk, fingertips brushing the edge.

"The really hot stuff is right here." Jack reached out and snagged Daniel around the waist, snuggling up against his belly. He closed his eyes and just inhaled, breathing in the scent that was uniquely Daniel's. "I love how you smell. Like old books and coffee."

"Huh?" Daniel's hands smoothed over Jack's hair and shoulders. "How can I smell like coffee when I don't drink the stuff?" He bent and placed a kiss on top of Jack's head.

"It's a cosmic mystery that probably means you should drink it. When was the last time you tried any?" Jack filled his hands with his lover's buttocks and squeezed. The muscles were firm and tight and Jack's imagination headed southbound. Thoughts of lazy afternoon sex sent his motor into overdrive, but he didn't say anything about what he wanted. He'd wait on that.

"Years ago. Back before I came to the SGC."

"The only coffee I found in your cupboard was nasty instant shit," Jack told him. "I bought some of the good stuff while you were away. Why don't you try some next time I make a cup?"

Daniel sighed. "Okay. If it'll make you happy."

Jack nipped Daniel's stomach through his shirt. "Tell ya what else'll make me happy..." He reached for the snap on Daniel's jeans and popped it open. He'd been patient long enough.

"Yeah? What's that? Tell me what you want, Jack." Daniel backed away, smiling broadly.

O'Neill stood up and followed him, pulling his lover back into his arms. "I want to take you to bed and make love to you until neither one of us can stand up. I want to make you so hot you scorch the sheets. Then after you've cooled off, I want to do it again."

Daniel's breathing was already getting faster. His smile was gone and his eyes were gleaming with desire. He also looked a little afraid. "I can't see you," he reminded his lover. "It might feel... weird."

"I can fix that," Jack offered. "You've got a lot of light coming into your bedroom. I'll put foil over the windows to block out the light and we'll both be in the dark. How 'bout that?"

The younger man still looked uncertain.

"It'll be even more erotic in the dark, I promise," murmured Jack, his voice a deep, husky purr. His lips grazed Daniel's cheek, eyes closing as he stroked over his lover's mouth with his own. He kissed Daniel, a brief, sweet softness that tantalized and was gone. 

"Ohhhkay," Daniel whispered with obvious longing. "What do you want me to do while I wait?"

Jack squeezed those tempting buttocks again. "Make beautiful music for me. I'll come get you when it's ready."

Daniel nodded and Jack moved away. He headed for the kitchen with a backward glance to see his boyfriend walking carefully toward the piano again. Jack swiped the roll of heavy-duty aluminum foil from a kitchen drawer, fetched the duct tape from under the sink and headed for the bedroom. By the time he finished, the room was completely without light except for the overheads. By their illumination he turned down the bed, made sure the path was clear and stripped down to his boxers, folding his clothes away into a corner chair. 

He stood in the doorway for a moment just listening to that lovely music. They'd been discussing some of it earlier while he read and Jack had been surprised that Daniel composed some of it himself. The genius's talents never seemed to end and while that annoyed Jack sometimes, it amazed him as well. He turned off the lights and crossed the room. Stopping at the bookcases, he called for his lover to follow him.

Without a word, Daniel rose. As the last notes faded into memory, Jack watched the man make his way with increasing certainty across the apartment. Fingers swept out as he neared the doorway, guiding him through with ease.

Jack followed him inside and shut the door.

The darkness was instantaneous. He waited for a moment as his eyes began to adjust. A faint sliver of white shone under the door, sunshine leaking in from the windows in the living area. Jack stepped hesitantly toward the bathroom, using his hands to feel the way. He fetched a towel, rolled it up and stuffed it against the bottom of the door.

"There. Now I can't see a thing." He heard rustling. "Are you undressing?"

"Right next to the bed."

Jack's hard-on returned with a vengeance. By the time he made his cautious way to the bed he could feel his dick throbbing in anticipation. He slipped under the covers just as Daniel did the same.

For a moment they just lay in silence. 

"You're right. This is a little unnerving," Jack observed. "We're so used to seeing something, little shades of shadows that keep it from being totally dark that it's disorienting to be in complete blackness."

"Welcome to my world," Daniel returned bitterly.

Jack turned his head on the pillow toward the sound of that disembodied voice. "Hey." His tone was soft, gentle and compassionate. "We'll get through this. Together."

A heavy sigh was his only answer.

"C'mere," he called, reaching toward his lover. His fingertips found warm flesh and he let them dance lightly over the surface, trying to figure out where he'd landed. The rounded swell of muscle rose and dipped, then rose again on the other side of the valley. That had to be Daniel's lovely chest. Jack smoothed upward and found throat. He could feel the pulse beating there and smiled. The firm ridge of jaw turned toward him and Jack rose up on his elbow, seeking Daniel's mouth with his.

He contacted chin instead and breathed a soft laugh. "This is fun."

"You really can't see anything?" asked Daniel uncertainly.

"Nada. Zilch. Zip. But I can feel..." His hand swept down Daniel's chest and over his belly, making him gasp. Jack smiled against his lover's lips. "...everything. And I want it all."

Daniel groaned. Jack's fingers wrapped around Daniel's erection and squeezed. Another groan sounded, this one louder than the first. Letting go for the moment, Jack's hand traced over Daniel's belly as the older man kissed him. The sensation was incredible with no sight to accompany it. There was only the firmness of healthy muscle sheathed in soft, hairless skin, pliable and warm beneath his fingers. 

Moving closer, Jack snuggled his body alongside his lover's, slipping one thigh over Daniel's possessively. The heat was delicious and Daniel was starting to writhe against him. Those articulate archaeologist's hands began to roam, exploring the landscape that was Jack's body, climbing hills of bulging muscle, probing valleys between the taut ridges. All the while Jack tasted him, lips caressing soft lips, tongues darting and dancing with each other.

The room seemed to be getting warmer, a light sheen of perspiration forming on their bodies. Jack struggled to hold back, to maintain control. He wanted this interlude to last, but Daniel had lost his uncertainty and was now fully engaged in doing his best to arouse his mate. It was working. The man had his hand lightly cupped around Jack's shaft, his palm stroking up the full length and sliding back down again to toy with Jack's balls. Gentle friction was incredibly erotic, and Jack couldn't help a soft moan into his lover's mouth.

Daniel smiled and laughed softly against Jack's lips between kisses. "Like that, do you?"

"Mmmmmm," Jack answered, his mouth choosing a new target. He laved Daniel's jaw line, tongue trailing across that delicious throat. "One of these days, I'm gonna give you hickeys all over, just so everyone will know you're mine."

"Uhnh," said Daniel approvingly. "Mmmmm."

"I know." Jack's lips trailed over his lover's chest and settled on a hardened nipple, his tongue exploring the taut nub of flesh, passion flaring suddenly inside him. He took it between his teeth and gave it a little shake. 

Daniel shouted in surprised arousal, his hands coming up around Jack's head. He was breathless when he spoke. "Damn, Jack! God. That felt... great!"

"You like your nipples played with?" Jack suckled. He nipped. He drew as much flesh into his mouth as he could get and sucked hard.

"Oh, baby!" Daniel was coming unglued. He bucked and gasped and writhed on the bed, holding Jack's head to his chest with both hands. He was panting now, his body vibrating with need. "God, don't stop!"

Jack moved his mouth to Daniel's right breast and grasped his left nipple between two fingers. He squeezed and twirled the hard little nub while sucking and nibbling on the other, sending Daniel into paroxysms of delight. Jack felt Daniel's body rise off the bed, back arched, his weight resting on the back if his head and his heels, giving enthusiastic voice to his pleasure, hitting octaves way up in the tenor zone.

Obviously, Daniel loved that. Jack would have given him more, but he was afraid his younger lover might hyperventilate and pass out if he didn't tone it down a little. The screaming was wonderful, though. Jack loved it when he could do that to this man with just his mouth and hands.

He let go, lifting his head and looking into the darkness where he knew Daniel's face would be. "Shhhh," he whispered happily. "Looks like we found something you really like."

"Uhhhh." Daniel gasped for breath. "Yeah. That was... wow. I almost came."

"There's supposed to be some nerve connection between nipples and genitals," Jack observed quietly, his hand drawing up to explore Daniel's face. "Doesn't do a thing for me, but I guess it works for you. I'll remember that. Next time I'm behind you in the shower..."

A soft laugh slipped out of the younger man. "You'll get an instant orgasm out of me if you do that."

"Just learnin' which buttons to push." Jack's fingertips explored the plane of Daniel's right cheek, following the curve up to his eyebrow. Carefully, he laid his palm over half of his lover's face from chin to forehead, feeling the hollows and rises, meshing that with the memory of how Daniel looked. "This is what you were doing with me in the bathroom the other day, isn't it? Seeing what I look like with your hands."

Daniel didn't speak, just nodded in answer, his breath warm and regular against Jack's palm.

"You're beautiful. So beautiful." Jack tried to imagine never seeing Daniel's eyes again. He knew that feeling, how lost and empty he'd been when the Daniel in his universe died. A sudden tide of emotion swept over him, drowning him in those old familiar feelings. He couldn't lose this man for a second time. 

With trembling fingers, Jack eased slowly up to the fringe of long hair across Daniel's forehead. He felt the silk of it sliding through his fingers and threaded them into a gentle grip. "Don't ever cut your hair," he begged huskily. "I love it long like this. I..." The lump in his throat threatening to strangle him cut off his words. Jack swallowed it down. "I love you, Daniel. Do you know that? Do you really know and believe that?"

He felt the nod he couldn't see.

"Yes. I know, Jack. Do you?"

"I hope," Jack sighed. He eased carefully on top of the other man, holding onto that long mane with both hands. "I want and I hope, but I don't know." He shook his head, brushing his forehead against his lover's. Daniel's arms came up around him. "I just can't understand what somebody like you could ever see in me. I'm old, for cryin' out loud. I'm rude and mean and dumb as a post. And you're..."

"Arrogant and selfish and cold," Daniel whispered against his mouth, his arms coming up in a light embrace.

"You're not cold," Jack argued back softly. "You've just been hurt a lot. You're one of the warmest, nicest people I've ever known."

"I could say the same about you," Daniel observed. "You make a great show of being tough as nails, but underneath you're a teddy bear."

"Am not."

"Are, too."

"Not."

"Softie."

"Geek. My beautiful, sexy geek."

Both men fell silent, each touching the other's face, exploring in the utter darkness with hands and hearts. Jack kissed Daniel's fingers as they roamed over his lips. Distracted and uncertain, Jack asked, "What do you see in me? I'm not fishing for compliments, Danny. I just wanna know. Why would you ever want to be my lover?"

"I'm not sure I can put that into words."

"Sure you can. You're a writer."

"Well, yeah, but I'm not good at talking about my feelings," Daniel returned uneasily. "Will you let me write it down for you? I can express it better that way, work on it till I can say it just right."

Jack considered. Disappointment shuttered through him, settling into resignation. "Sure. I can wait." He remembered he hadn't finished what he wanted to tell Daniel. "But then you'll have to wait for yours, too."

"My what?"

"What I love about you. In the meantime, though, I can feel a whole lot of you that hasn't been kissed yet." Jack smiled in the darkness, sensing the one on the face beneath him.

Daniel undulated, his body stretching and contracting with the sensuality of a snake. Jack groaned, closing his eyes, concentrating only on the way their bodies slid against each other, separated by a film of sweat. Their erections lay side-by-side, rubbing against each other, prodding each other's bellies, smooth and hard and hot. Thrusting gently, Jack heard Daniel moan.

"Don't stop," the younger man breathed. "I want to come like this, with you on top of me, just like this."

O'Neill reached for his lover's hands, lacing their fingers together and pressing Daniel's hands into the pillows beside his head. Jack wanted to see that gorgeous face, those haunting eyes, to watch Daniel come. Instead, he concentrated on skin and sensation, on the scent of Daniel's body, the taste of his sweat, the flavor of his mouth. He reveled in the warmth of Daniel's breath against his lips and chin and the coolness that followed exhalation.

Jack's whole body was tingling now, his skin electrically charged. He lifted one foot and crossed his shin over Daniel's, toes stroking over his lover's instep, caressing it; the roughness of the hairs on Daniel's leg scraped across Jack's shin and knee, sending little shockwaves of intensity up his leg.

"Oh, Jack," Daniel whispered, his voice touched with awe. "I never dreamed anything like this. Love you. Love you so much. I... can't believe you're mine."

"I am, Danny. Forever. Nothing can come between us now." Passion heated Jack, setting a fire low in his balls. He could feel Daniel straining against him, hips rocking to stroke his cock against Jack's belly. Daniel's breathing was faster, shallower, and there was a strangled sound to it, an edge of tears.

"Jack," he sobbed softly. "Jack. Oh, you are...Ahhh!" He whimpered, followed by a deep anguished groan. His hips jerked, driving him hard against Jack.

"Yes." The first pulse of Daniel's orgasm shot through Jack like a bolt of lightning. He closed his eyes, savoring the throbbing of Daniel's cock against his own with reverent awe. Hot spurts of semen filled the tiny space between their bodies, sticky and viscous and wonderful. "God, how I love to feel you come," he groaned. He could smell it and the scent of his lover's orgasm drove Jack over the edge. 

His head rocked back. Not a sound issued from him other than the harsh rasp of his breath. His body drove deeper, harder against Daniel's belly and ecstasy overwhelmed him.

"My Jack," Daniel whispered. "Come for me, yes, all of it, now, just for me." He sucked in a ragged breath and let loose a sob that dissolved into full-fledged weeping. "I want to see you, God damn it! I want to look at you when you come." He started to struggle, to push against Jack's hands, legs entwining to hold and push away and recapture his lover.

Jack let go of his hands, shoving his arms beneath the struggling man and holding on tightly. "Let it go, Danny," he growled in his lover's ear. "Fight the darkness. Push it back. Don't let it own you."

The storm was rising, and O'Neill knew it would be brief and violent. Daniel needed something to struggle against and the most available thing was another body - Jack himself. "Come on, dammit. Fight it. Fight me."

"No!" Daniel shouted, pushing hard now.

Jack felt his grip loosen, felt that leashed power breaking his hold. He knew Daniel just wanted to get away, but Jack wasn't going to let him. Holding on tighter, he forced his body back down, covering the other man, holding him against the bed. He could sense a wave of panic shoot through his lover, muscles bunching. The struggle intensified and suddenly Jack found himself rolling off, Daniel's strength breaking through all his resistance.

Instantly the other man was off the bed, panting in the darkness.

"What the hell was that?" Daniel demanded hotly.

"You need to face the fact that this may be something you have to deal with emotionally, Daniel," Jack said huskily. "Doc Fraiser's looking for answers in the test results. Carter and Teal'c are checkin' on the planet, but you need to at least look at the possibility that it may be something else. Something you don't want to face."

Daniel's tone of voice was acid, angry. "Oh, so this is all in my mind? I can't fucking see, Jack. Something's wrong with my eyes, not my mind."

"Then tell me about the boy."

"I wanted to adopt him."

"Okay." Jack knew there was more. A lot more, and it was going to be painful pulling all of that out of the man he loved.

"That's it? No questions? No concerns about how we'll manage caring for him with both of us gone so much?" Daniel was quieting but there was still an edge of pain to his voice.

"We'll figure somethin' out."

"You'd really... Even after Charlie...?" There was wonder in the younger man's voice. 

Jack felt Daniel's weight settle gently on the mattress. Bowing his head, Jack actually did think about it; picturing a faceless boy with his son's fair hair coming up to him with hope in his eyes, hope of being loved. That would be the easiest thing in the world, loving a child. "We'll need a proper house. One with a bedroom for our son and a yard where he can play."

Fingertips brushed against Jack's chest hair, seeking him. Daniel was sniffling, reaching for him, and Jack hugged him close, stroking that long fall of silken hair. "I love you, Jack," he said, his breath trembling with emotion. "You're so good to me. I don't deserve you."

"Why not?" Jack held on even when he felt Daniel stiffen and start to pull away. "Don't," he cautioned, tightening his grip on those ribs. "Let me hold you. Talk to me, Daniel. Tell me about what happened to you when you were a boy."

"No."

"I can get government access to the records," Jack assured him quietly. "If I wanted, I'd have already been on my way to look up the monster who hurt you, but that's not what I'm after here. I just want to know, from the perspective of that little boy you used to be. Tell me, Daniel. I need to know."

Jack closed his eyes on the lie, concentrating on the feel of that strong, beautiful body in his arms. The research he had done on hysterical blindness refreshed a lot of the psychology studies he'd internalized since college, reminding him that this manifestation wasn't just an isolated incident. Daniel's tragic past was part of it and if he was going to help his lover, they would have to explore that painful territory as well as whatever had happened with the Messenetians. He would depend on Daniel's trust of him, new as their relationship was, to get them through this difficult time in their joint history.

"Can I clean up first?" Daniel rested his head on Jack's shoulder, his arms loosely embracing the older man.

"Shower?" At Daniel's nod, Jack let go and made his way carefully toward the bathroom, listening for footsteps patting softly on the carpet behind him.

* * *

Robert Rothman stepped out of the wormhole, grumpy that he'd just come off a shift and would be denied the downtime he so desperately needed. He understood the need, having seen Daniel's plight first- hand, and wasn't resentful about helping. He was just tired and would have preferred to have some dull academic job to one that involved such a roller-coaster ride.

"Where were we supposed to meet Captain Carter and Teal'c?" he asked, glancing around at the buildings. His team had been first to make contact with the Messenetians, so he knew the lay of the land and had a slightly better grip on the language than Daniel, which pleased him immensely. Still, it was difficult to translate properly and required full focus to accomplish; he didn't look forward to that on a weary mind.

"The council hall, uptown," Kawalsky answered, nodding toward the big white building with the dome in the distance. "Hope they've already found somethin'." 

The two men maintained silence as they walked together, each studying the Messenetians who passed them, smiling and offering friendly gestures. When they arrived, Robert took them unerringly to the office where foreign travelers were supposed to check in and made their request for the location of the rest of the team. A guide appeared a moment later to take them to the banquet hall where the Absolution celebration had been held the previous night.

"Carter, anything to report?" called Kawalsky as soon as he caught sight of SG-1's blond tech whiz. The Jaffa standing nearby raised an eyebrow as his only sign of greeting.

"No, sir," she answered crisply. "We've collected a lot of samples for processing, though. Maybe we'll get something in the test results." She shot a meaningful glance at Robert.

The scientist had already been apprised that something might be afoot with their Messenetian allies and that the investigation was two-pronged. Most of that would be on Rothman's shoulders, making the official inquiries and listening to see what else he might pick up in the background. The first place he started was the auditorium. 

It was enormous. A stage was set at one end, with rows and rows of seats fanned out in a semi-circle around it. Balconies in the back rose high upward. The place must have seated thousands, with all attention focused on the stage up front. A small chair was mounted there with a reflective dome above it and a curved panel around the feet.

The first thing Robert thought of when he saw it was that it looked like an upscale electric chair in miniature. He shook that thought off and strolled up to one of the laborers involved in cleaning up. The elderly woman was working a device that looked rather like a portable vacuum cleaner, sucking up dust and debris from the little chair's upholstery.

"Your pardon I beg," he began with a smile, speaking in her language. "Can you tell me about what happened here night last?" The phrasing was a little clumsy, but he was sure he got his message across.

The woman blinked up at him and turned off the machine. "You do not know? All Messenetians know of the Day of Absolution."

"From Earth I am," he told her. "We are curious about your celebration."

"Ah," she returned, nodding. Her expression grew sad. "The visitor from your world..."

"Dr. Jackson."

"Yes. We pray for him. All Messenetians." She looked up at Robert, measuring. "Next year he will come? He will find Absolution?"

"For what? Did he do something?" Robert was buoyed by her response. "What happened to him?"

The old woman bowed her head. She shook it slowly. "It is very sad. Great sin on that one, your Dr. Jackson."

Robert frowned. He wasn't at all sure he translated that correctly. "Great sin? I do not understand. Can you explain?"

Looking up at the silvery dome, the woman just stared. "Your people know what is sin, yes?" She looked at him pointedly.

"We know the concept, yes."

"Who forgives your sin, Tau'ri?"

"People of different cultures and religions in my world believe that can be done in many ways," Robert returned evasively. "What about yours? How can Daniel's sin be forgiven? What sin did he commit?"

She sighed and closed her eyes. "He wished us darkness," she said sorrowfully. "To save the one and damn the many." Shaking her head, she turned away and started the machine up again.

"I am sure he did not understand," Robert argued above the noise of the vacuum. "Tell me what he did. Tell me how we can make amends."

The woman ignored him, giving all her attention to her job. Even when the chair appeared clean she continued to dust it, going over the fabric again and again. Rothman got the message that she didn't want to talk further and he headed back to join the rest of SG-1.

"Find out anything?" Kawalsky asked.

"Hints but no details," Robert admitted. "I need to go to their library. If this Day of Absolution thing is this big," he gestured around the auditorium, "they're bound to have records on exactly what it is. Once we know more about that, I think we can start asking the right questions. As it is, Daniel's offended them and we need to repair any damage he might have done. Maybe doing that will also help us figure out what happened to him. Maybe they did something to him after all."

"Okay. I'll get these samples back to the lab," suggested Carter. "I'll need another collection kit to go over the room Daniel was in last night." She looked at Kawalsky for permission to leave for the base.

He nodded.

"Back in a couple of hours, sir," she promised.

"Teal'c, watch her six," Kawalsky commanded. "I'll stay with Rothman."

"Library's this way," Robert announced and led the way out a side door.

* * *

Jack pushed on the bathroom door, forgetting that it was still bright outside. The blacked-out glass door opened to a flood of sunlight, blinding him and making him gasp for a second. "Whoa, that's... ouch." Squinting until his eyes adjusted, he glanced at the other man just entering the room. Daniel's pupils reacted but his eyes remained wide in the sudden brightness, making Jack wonder if there really was some physical cause to his lover's condition. Jack made his way to the shower and turned on the tap, contemplating the problem, deciding to follow Dr. Fraiser's lead in the matter. He adjusted the water temperature by feel and turned on the overhead jet just as Daniel stepped inside the glassed enclosure.

For a moment he just watched Daniel angle face-first into the spray, thoroughly wetting himself, running his fingers through his hair to get it wet to the roots, combing it back from his face with his fingers. It was a beautiful sight and Jack hurried to get in after his lover. Daniel felt him approach and leaned back, resting his head on Jack's shoulder, left hand braced against the wall for balance. Jack put his arms around Daniel's chest; placing his palms over Daniel's nipples, warm water running over and between them.

Daniel sighed. "I really don't want to talk about my childhood, Jack."

"I know. But I really need to hear about it." O'Neill looked over Daniel's shoulder, down his chest, counting the little round scars, watching Daniel breathe. He kissed the rise of trapezius at the base of Daniel's neck, closing his eyes as the spray dampened his face. He barely knew this man yet the love he felt was rooted in the knowledge that he was Daniel Jackson, regardless of what universe owned him. The essence of the man in this reality was the same as the one O'Neill had left behind, and that was all that mattered. That was what Jack loved, the spirit beneath the surface of that beautiful package, and Daniel returned those feelings, instantly, without question.

Jack rubbed slowly, sensuously, washing the sweat and semen off his lover's body. Daniel turned in the water, his mouth seeking, finding, drinking in the taste of Jack's kisses along with water from the shower running into their mouths. They slow-danced under the falling droplets, turning and turning again carefully, letting the water rinse them clean as they kissed. There was no hurry, no escalation into desire, just the gentle exchange of love freely given and taken.

When they finished, Jack dried Daniel off and handed him his brush, watching every stroke through that glorious hair as Jack toweled himself dry. He handed Daniel the clothes he'd been wearing earlier and went to make coffee naked while his lover dressed. Once the pot was percolating, Jack put just his sweatpants back on and watched Daniel wander about the apartment, looking for a place to begin.

"You know about my parents, right?"

"New York Museum of Art," Jack returned slowly, remembering. "I saw it happen." Over and over again, watching Daniel suffer through it until they could make the Gamekeeper understand how devastating it was.

Daniel nodded. "I wasn't sure if you had that in your universe. We seemed to have missed a lot of things you didn't."

"And no doubt had other things happen that I didn't encounter," Jack added. He headed for the kitchen; standing over the coffee machine while it finished brewing, watching his lover pad carefully around the living room.

Running a hand through his damp hair, Daniel took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I went into foster care because my grandfather was too busy to raise me."

"He regretted it."

Daniel's head came up. He turned toward the kitchen, toward the sound of Jack's voice. "He did? I never knew. He died two years after my parents."

"You two made peace a couple years ago in my universe," Jack assured him. "Nick loved you, Daniel. He just thought he'd make a lousy grandfather."

Taking another deep breath, Daniel began to pace the open area in front of the fireplace. "We didn't exactly have a permanent address, so since the accident happened in New York, the authorities took me right away and put me into the system there. I went to a facility for the first week, then landed in a private home."

Jack poured two cups of the coffee and carried them into the living room, setting them on the table between the two couches, making enough noise to alert Daniel to his new position. He sat down and looked up at the other man, whose head turned, listening for him. Once Daniel had located Jack, he continued.

"Jeff Eiger was cool and controlling. At first, we just gave each other space but he'd never seen a kid like me before. I had no concept of routine since I was used to living all over the place. My parents home-schooled me on dig sites all over the world, so I didn't understand what was expected of me." He sighed, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. "Mrs. Eiger was very patient at first, but I didn't want to live in such a restricted fashion. I rebelled."

"And you were punished."

Daniel nodded. "At first it was just being sent to my room without dinner. I learned to ignore being hungry and I could always count on two meals a day at school." He paused, starting to pace again. "Then it was being shut in the basement, in the dark. Then spankings and then..." He stopped talking. A muscle twitched in his jaw as he clenched his teeth. "Mrs. Eiger gave up on me. She threatened to send me back but Mr. Eiger stepped in and took over." Daniel shook his head. His arms came up around himself. "It wasn't that I didn't want to obey, Jack. I really tried but I just couldn't handle the same old boring routine every day. I needed change and variety. I felt like I couldn't breathe sometimes."

"I wondered about that," Jack confessed. "You get so fidgety when we're stuck on the base for any length of time and you're left with nothing but translations to do. You get this look in your eye like you're gonna explode."

"That's what it feels like," the archaeologist admitted tightly. "Eiger thought I did it on purpose. He tried very hard to teach me a lesson. The harder he tried, the more necessary it was for me to resist. I learned to watch him burn me with hardly a flinch."

Jack's stomach roiled. He closed his eyes. His hands curled into fists. Rage pushed bile up his throat and made him want to vomit. "How long were you there?"

"Four years."

"God." Jack's fingers curled and uncurled. He gritted his teeth, his whole body vibrating with rage. He could see that in his mind's eye, and it made him ill. However, he had a job to do and he needed to keep his own feelings out of this. Struggling to tamp them down, he schooled his voice to be calm. "How did that make you feel?"

"I hated him." The answer was instantaneous. "It took me a while to understand that he got pleasure out of hurting me. Eventually he started doing it for the slightest little thing. He scared me, but I couldn't let him see that. I had to be in control. Always."

"So you bottled everything up inside." That made sense. Daniel had no outlet for his rage. All those feelings he kept inside, under tight reign. That was part of the problem here. Pieces were beginning to come together and it made an ugly picture. "I'm assuming somebody found out?"

"Yeah. Eiger had just lost his temper when he couldn't make me cry. He punched me in the nose when the social worker dropped in unexpectedly. They put me in therapy once they saw all the burns. It took a while before they moved me to a new foster home."

"I'll bet."

"They put Eiger in jail for what he did to me," Daniel told him. "It was enough."

Not for me, Jack said in the privacy of his own mind. Killing the bastard would be too good for him. "How'd the next place work out?"

Daniel shrugged and started pacing again, slower now, more relaxed. "They tried to be good to me, but I couldn't accept them. I was afraid to trust."

"No shit." Jack clamped his jaws shut and gave his fists a shake in frustration. He shouldn't have said that and knew it. Daniel needed to finish his recitation with as few interruptions as possible. Emotional outbursts like that would only sidetrack him.

Daniel turned his head as if to regard his lover for a moment, then took up the wandering again. "Mrs. Brown home-schooled me, so I graduated early. In college, I took some psychology classes so I could analyze myself and come to terms with my past. I did okay after that."

He followed his nose to the coffee, carefully located a cup and took a sip. His brows pinched together. "This is good." He took another sip. "This is very good. I think I like it."

"The universe is now spinning as it should," Jack announced approvingly.

Daniel drained the cup and set it back down, returning to his narrative. "Like I said, I got myself together on my own."

Jack shook his head and said nothing glad Daniel couldn't see his expression of opinion. Daniel might have learned some new methods of dealing with his trauma, but he hadn't accepted it. Not yet. The wounds were still just under the surface, ready to bleed at a moment's notice. Jack was going to have to prick him to get the cleansing flow started. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

"So when you met Tinyar, you saw yourself in him. You wanted to save him."

Daniel stopped pacing. He clasped his hands behind his back and turned to face Jack. "You're good at this, Jack. What's your degree in?"

"I have two and that's none of your business," Jack shot back irritably. "We're not talking about me here."

"One degree in psychology, then," Daniel assumed. He put his head down and started pacing again, walking the same small circle in the open space on the floor.

Jack grinned and shook his head. "You're too damn smart, you know that?"

A slow smile spread over Daniel's mouth and faded. "Yes, I wanted to save Tinyar. And yes, he reminded me of me. Nobody cared about him, Jack. I found him in my quarters after midnight, looking through the library. The Messenetians let him do whatever he wanted. He didn't even have to go to school."

"That doesn't sound right."

"Other kids in the orphanage led pretty normal lives, but Tinyar was different. People wouldn't even look at him. He was... some kind of outcast. I couldn't figure it out."

"We'll bring him here, then. We'll love him and raise him right."

Daniel heard the soft affection in that promise and stood very still. His eyes filled and spilled over his cheeks. "We can't do that," Daniel told him, his voice shaky.

"It won't be easy, but I'm sure we can find a way through the red tape," Jack assured him. "Those folks are our allies and if they've got a kid they don't want..."

"I... I... Jack..." Daniel's hands came up, holding his head. He squeezed his eyes closed, breathing shallow and fast. "He's dead, Jack. Tinyar's dead. I know it. I don't remember how it happened, but I know he's dead."

O'Neill stood up, alarm shooting through his veins in a burst of heat. He crossed the room and took Daniel in his arms. "Think, Daniel. What did you see? What happened to the boy?"

"I don't know! I don't know. Jack, don't make me go there. Please." Daniel's knees gave. He leaned against his lover, who carried him down to the floor. Daniel was panting now, curling up on himself.

"Look at it, Daniel," Jack commanded gently, firmly. "You're strong enough to deal with this. You're a good man, Daniel. Look at Tinyar. What do you see?"

"Light, oh, God, Jack. I can't. I can't. Please!" He was shaking now, his body quivering with fear and horror.

"I'm with you, baby," Jack crooned, holding him close. "I'm right there beside you. Tell me what you see."

Daniel's arms came up to embrace his head. He started to sob, his body wracked with the spasms. "No, no, no... I didn't know. Oh, God, Tinyar, I didn't know!"

"Didn't know what, Daniel?" Jack prodded, his voice even and low. He rubbed Daniel's back and shoulders as they lay on their sides on the carpet.

"They were going to kill him," Daniel wailed. "I didn't know the Messenetians were going to kill that innocent little boy..."

Jack felt his heart shatter with Daniel's grief. He locked it away, keeping his voice quiet and serene, Daniel's anchor to sanity as he pulled the horrifying scene out of him, bit by bit.

* * *

Dr. Rothman sat with the book in his hands, piecing the tale together. The similarities to Christian absolution were startling, though the Messenetian religious life was centered on the Greco- Roman goddess Artemis, whose symbols were light and children. That their goddess was a Goa'uld had been proven by Daniel's recent work at the temple the aliens had just unearthed, but none of this really explained what had happened to Dr. Jackson.

When Carter and Teal'c returned to begin their work on Daniel's quarters, Robert and the major met them there to tell them what he'd discovered during their absence.

"The concept of sin is fairly recent in their history; however the Day of Absolution goes way back," he explained. "Apparently, their goddess gave the Messenetians one solar year to live in her worship, and if they failed, a price was exacted. If the price wasn't paid, she would darken the skies and leave them to contemplate life without light."

"Do we have any idea when Artemis was last here?" Sam asked, opening up the testing kit and slipping on a pair of latex gloves.

"Several thousand years," answered the archaeologist, "but the promise to darken the skies seems to be a recurring phenomenon, always on the same day each year. That was yesterday, by the Messenetian calendar. I checked the weather and news broadcasts and can confirm that the skies were overcast by mid-day and dark as night in a few hours."

Teal'c raised an eyebrow. "Perhaps there is a weather control device here on Messenet similar to that on Medrona."

"Makes sense," Carter observed with a nod. "It would be a pretty powerful indicator that there are gods to be appeased."

"And they did that how?" asked Kawalsky.

Robert swallowed hard. "According to ancient legend, with the sacrifice of a child."

The four adults looked at each other uneasily.

"Surely they don't still do that?" Sam asked hesitantly.

"I can't find any evidence to show they've changed the procedure." Robert eyed her. "If that's what Daniel saw..."

"Holy Hannah." Sam bowed her head. "I don't think we're gonna find anything useful in Daniel's room." She stripped off the gloves and tossed them into the case.

"I'm thinking we need to see that Goa'uld temple," Robert suggested. "Maybe there was something Daniel overlooked. Something one of those snakes didn't want found."

"DanielJackson does not overlook things," Teal'c defended staunchly. "Given sufficient time, he would have discovered all the temple's secrets."

Rothman nodded. "Yeah. I guess he just didn't find this one out in time."

"Let's go, kids," Kawalsky nodded toward the door. "We got a false god to bring down."

The four turned in unison, intent on their mission.

* * *

"Tinyar invited me to watch," Daniel whimpered. "He thought he was saving me."

Jack felt a lump forming in his throat. He pulled Daniel closer, tucking the man's head beneath his chin. "From what?"

"The Messenetians believe that all their sins for the year can be wiped away by the sacrifice of innocence," explained the younger man, his voice cracking with grief. "Jesus on the cross."

Arms tightening, Jack couldn't stop the picture forming in his mind's eye, not of a grown man dying in such a horrible fashion, but that of a child. A vision of Charlie bleeding in his arms came unbidden on its heels. Tears leaked out of his eyes, wetting his lashes, but he kept still and quiet. Daniel needed his strength, not his grief.

"Tinyar knew what would happen. He knew." Daniel grasped a fistful of the T-shirt he was wearing and wiped his face with it. "I didn't understand. I was in the audience, watching. I... I put on one of the gloves and held it up..."

"Gloves?" Jack didn't want to interrupt, but he wouldn't understand fully without more explanation.

Daniel sniffed and nodded beneath Jack's chin. "I... I think they must be akin to the Goa'uld ribbon devices but less powerful. Some kind of thought transference, maybe and they were used to transfer every Messenetian's sins to the boy, the sacrifice."

Jack grunted softly, like someone had punched him in the gut.

"God, Jack, I saw it. I saw the look on his face," sobbed Daniel, curling tighter against his lover. "Millions of people invading his mind, all at once. All the horrible things they'd done to others... Godohgodohgod..."

No wonder you're blind, Jack said in his mind. That was you up there, wasn't it? You saw yourself in that child. You saw yourself hurting him. You were the man with the cigarette, putting it out on tender skin. But you didn't know, Daniel. You didn't know until it was too late.

"Guilt and regret," Jack remembered, whispering. "In darkness dwell."

Daniel wailed in agony. The chant spilled out of his mouth as he sobbed: " 'Burdened with guilt and regret, blinded by sin against my fellow man, there I in darkness dwell, until the day of absolution falls and I am freed by the Malbin. I stretch forth my hand unto the light of innocence and pass freely into it. I am cleansed and made whole, to begin anew in the bright nimbus of forgiveness, for this sacrifice I undertake fully aware of the great price of my freedom.' "

"You didn't know," said Jack, holding tighter. Daniel's arms swept around him, gripping him fiercely. For a moment Jack was afraid the other man couldn't breathe, his face was pressed against Jack's chest so hard. "God, Daniel, you didn't know. It's not your fault he died." 

Realization dawned. "You tried to stop it, didn't you?" He pushed Daniel back, caught his lover's face in his hands and looked down into those sapphire eyes swimming in tears. When Jack found him, Daniel had been holding a piece of cloth in his hand like a life preserver. "You tried."

Daniel nodded weakly. "He was already dead by the time I got to him. Oh, Jack."

"That scarf you had when I found you," growled Jack as he recalled that morning on Messenet.

"I got hold of it to pull him out of that chair," Daniel wheezed. "He came apart, Jack. That machine, whatever it is... it incinerated him when it was done. God, that poor boy! He was just a kid. He just wanted to be loved."

Daniel went limp, his head sagging in Jack's hands, completely drained by the experience.

"And you did, didn't you?" Jack asked softly, already knowing the answer. "You knew him for a day or two, and you loved him. Did he know that?"

"Yes." Daniel blinked. "He wanted to save me because I wanted him to come home with me and he knew he couldn't. My salvation was his gift to me." He blinked again. His eyes seemed to focus. "Jack?" Daniel's hand moved up and lay against O'Neill's cheek.

The movement had been certain. Daniel knew exactly where his lover's face was because he could see it. Daniel could see.

A wave of relief flooded through Jack. "I love you, Daniel," he breathed. "This took a lot of courage."

Daniel sat up, both hands wiping at his cheeks. "I couldn't save him," he snarled. Then he looked down at his hands.

"If you understood what was going to happen," Jack reminded him, "Tinyar would still be alive." Pushing himself upright, Jack raised his knees and embraced them. They'd made tremendous progress, but it wasn't over yet. Daniel needed more if he was going to make peace with himself. He needed something from Jack, a piece of his past that he never touched. He took a deep breath and let it out in a rush. "I couldn't save Charlie, either."

He felt the younger man turn to look at him and was sure that this Daniel and the other O'Neill had never talked about what happened to his son.

"I thought I had my pistol locked away in my desk, where it was supposed to be," the colonel admitted softly. "I guess I'll never know for certain if I locked that drawer or not."

"You still blame yourself."

Jack nodded. "If I never had a gun in my house..."

"You're a soldier," Daniel argued gently. "You wanted your family safe, and that's what your sidearm represented, in your hands."

"And death in Charlie's." Jack swallowed. "I'll always have to live with that, Daniel; that I didn't keep my gun out of his hands. That I didn't get in that room fast enough to take it away from him; that I had the gun there in the first place. I can't change any of that. I just have to accept that it happened and find a way to go on." He lifted his eyes to Daniel's and saw understanding and sympathy gleaming back. "I don't know what happened between you and your Jack on Abydos, but I'll bet you saved him, didn't you?"

There was no answer except a tightening of Daniel's lips. He wasn't going to admit it but the truth was there in his eyes. 

"You took a staff blast meant for him, and then kept him from killing himself when he so wanted to die. Just like the other Daniel did for me. That's our common denominator, isn't it?"

"Jack..." Daniel moved toward him, pulling him into a gentle embrace. "You don't have to go back to all that. It's over. I can see. You... you helped me... look at what I didn't want to see."

O'Neill felt tears falling onto his naked shoulder and stroked his hands over Daniel's hair. "Sometimes we have to look at the terrible things to see the good in ourselves," he murmured. "You're a good man. You're a courageous man. You didn't know when you went after Tinyar if that machine was gonna kill you, too, but you were willing to make that sacrifice. Weren't you?"

Daniel nodded. "I wish I could have saved him."

"I wish I could have saved Charlie."

For a long time they just held each other, grieving together, healing together. Finally, Daniel straightened up and wiped his face with his palms. "We have to go back to Messenet, Jack. They'll be choosing another Malbin for the next ceremony and we can't let them do that."

"It's their culture," Jack reminded him, holding his palm to Daniel's cheek. "We can't change a whole world's ideas about salvation."

Maybe not," Daniel agreed, "but we have to try."

Jack smiled at him fondly. "You are by far the bravest man I've ever known. I love you, Daniel."

"Thank you, Jack." He rose and offered a hand to his lover. "I guess we should go to the base so Janet can check me out, huh?"

"Good to have you back to normal," Jack agreed, pulling him into another hug. "Let's go. We've got a kid to save."

Daniel pulled back and kissed him, and in minutes they were dressed and heading out the door to the mountain.

* * *

Portable lights had been set up in the temple. Parts of it were still being excavated following its discovery during the procedure to lay the foundation for a new building in the Messenetian capital city. A handful of alien scientists escorted the Tau'ri down into the main hall, explaining to Rothman what Daniel discovered during his few days studying the place. Robert then repeated the information in English to his companions.

"The temple was apparently buried after a volcanic eruption," he said, glancing around at the relatively untouched main hall. "The ceiling in this section was reinforced, so it's held up under the ash and sediment covering up the rest of the structure. Outer rooms have been crushed and they're under other buildings, so the Messenetians are being very careful with digging, concentrating on what's most readily available." He gestured toward the huge statue of a goddess in the back of the room, dressed in Roman-style toga, carrying a golden bow, her free hand resting on the back of a deer- like animal. A tiara she wore on her head still glowed with pure white light. "Let's go check out Diana, shall we?"

"I thought you said she was Artemis?" Kawalsky shot back irritably.

"Same goddess, different name. Greek or Roman, take your pick." Robert crossed the room, ignoring the piles of gold and silver, beautifully decorated pottery in near perfect condition and rolls of fabric that had rotted away to almost nothing; offerings for the goddess, no doubt; one who had long since deserted her slaves. The archaeologist stopped at the statue's feet, eyes on the base. He touched the stone ankle, running his fingers down the straps of the sandals, over the massive toes, onto the base and the writing incised there.

He began to read the text in its original language, interspersed here and there with Goa'uld symbols, his lips moving as he translated. "This is just the usual stuff. Pay honor to the great goddess Artemis, earn her benevolent forgiveness, serve her, blah blah blah. Nothing new here."

Carter eased up behind him, peering over his shoulder. "Hang on, doesn't that look like one of those page-turning devices we picked up on Argos?" She pointed to a metal object apparently imbedded in the base of the statue.

Rothman reached for it and wriggled it free. He examined it closely. "Yeah, but I don't see any pages to turn."

Sam stepped back and looked up. She pointed to the light-splash on the ceiling coming from the diadem on the statue's head. "Those look like letters to you?"

"Good eye, Sam. I guess I climb up there, huh?"

"I'll do it if you want," she suggested with a grin. "I used to climb trees all the time when I was a kid, and I go rock climbing as often as I can."

With a sigh of relief and a slight grin, he handed the device over to her. "Be my guest. I can read the text from here." He shifted his eyes toward the ceiling. "Right now it says, 'I am pleased with your sacrifice. Live in the light.' "

Carter knelt down and unlaced her boots, removing them and her socks. Not having any climbing shoes available, her bare feet would give better traction and flexibility for scaling such an uneven surface. She unhooked her pack and removed her jacket, then took a rope and tossed it over the statue's shoulder high up near the ceiling. Handing one end to Teal'c to act as her anchor, she hopped up onto the base and started up the goddess's shin.

After fifteen minutes she sat astride the colossus's shoulder. Carefully, holding onto the wavy stone hair for balance, she retrieved the page-turner from her trouser pocket and leaned close to the tiara, waving the device over the lights. The pattern changed abruptly.

Then it went off. A hologram appeared, same size as the statue, looking down on the Tau'ri group with a mighty frown. The Messenetians ran from the room.

"What sacrilege is this?" Artemis demanded, eyes glowing white. "You dare to touch a goddess? You will be punished for your insolence. The skies of Messenet will darken as a sign of my wrath. I will hide the light until you have shown me proper obeisance."

Rothman listened to the message but did not look at the projection. Instead, he was busy looking for a source, and found it in the base of the statue. He put his ear to it and listened. "We got machinery in here," he reported. "Whatcha wanna bet it's some kind of weather device, like Teal'c said?" He straightened up, looking up at the woman high above them. "Sam, you get down here and see if you can figure out how to get at the machine inside here. I'm gonna go tell the Messenetians their goddess is mad at us."

Carter looked grave as she nodded. "They're not gonna like us very much, Robert. We need to fix this fast."

"I'm counting on you to figure that out," he assured her and gave her a thumbs-up. Without watching her descent, he went up the stairs to look for someone in charge, to tell them that their skies would be darkening soon, and why.

* * *

The Messenetian high council was in an uproar. People were filling the streets, panicking beneath the unbroken ceiling of dark clouds. Talk of an apocalypse was everywhere; all of it centred around the Tau'ri visitors. Daniel Jackson stood at a podium in the middle of the council hall, facing the long table where the council sat, arguing among themselves. Communication devices were everywhere, broadcasting the meeting worldwide.

"Please, just listen to me," Daniel begged, raising his voice.

"You have caused this!" Vilyu accused. "You interfered with the sacrifice, and now the light has fled. You have damned us all!"

"No, that is not true," insisted Daniel, concentrating hard on getting the difficult language correct. "My friends found the machine that causes the darkness. They are trying to bring back the light without a sacrifice and if you will just calm down and give them a chance, I am certain they will succeed."

"There must be a sacrifice!" a councilwoman shouted. "The goddess must be appeased."

"There is no goddess," argued Daniel hotly, hands punctuating his words and slashing his hand angrily through the air. "It is caused by a Goa'uld machine. We can prove this to you. We can bring back the light. You have no need to sacrifice a Malbin child, ever again."

"You do not understand, Tau'ri," called another. "Your sins have not been forgiven."

"Maybe not," he shot back, "but I choose to carry them myself, rather than let someone else suffer them." He could feel Jack behind him, watching, not understanding a word being spoken, but resonating with the passion reverberating through the meeting hall. "You always choose a child with no family, do you not? One who has nothing to lose, no will to live without love. You shun him, making sure he suffers, making sure he hungers for death to end his pain. Choose a different child this time. Choose one of your own, one who is loved, who means something to you. Can you do that?" 

He looked into each face, each pair of eyes staring angrily back at him. They resented the idea. It made them uncomfortable. That was just what he wanted.

"You will not," he guessed. "You choose among the outcast, those who will not be missed because they are unwanted. It is an acceptable loss." Daniel's voice softened as he remembered Tinyar's brave smile and tears as he ran back to the orphanage that last day. "Tinyar was loved. He mattered... to me. I would rather have died in his place than have to watch him die as I did. Think on this, Messenetians. Picture your own child in that chair, taking the sins and regrets of an entire world into them." 

His eyes filled and spilled over, a single tear tracing its way down each cheek. "I would rather bear my own sins than give them to someone else to carry, especially a child. I beg you, give us time. We will learn how to work the Goa'uld machine that darkens your skies. We will show you that it is a trick designed to force you into obedience, and when we have done that, great council of Messenet, we will ask you to spare the life of the Malbin child forever afterward. I will ask you to make no more sacrifices to the vanity of alien conquerors and bear the responsibility for your regrets in your own hearts and minds." 

A ripple of uneasy whispers flowed through the council. The First Council rose, her long gray hair tumbling down her back. She fixed steady brown eyes on him and declared, "In three days, our crops will begin to die without sunlight. You have until then to prove your theory, Dr. Jackson. If you do not succeed, a new Malbin will be sacrificed. If that does not bring back the light, we will offer you and your companions as sacrifices to appease the goddess. Do you understand?"

Daniel's jaw set. "I understand, First Council. Wait for the light." He turned and left the hall with Jack at his side.

"You don't look happy," O'Neill observed. "They looked pretty mad at us."

"They are," Daniel admitted. He angled away from the hall, passing up the visitors' wing where his quarters had been, heading straight for the orphanage. Brushing past the woman who answered the door, he went up to Tinyar's room and opened it. The headmistress was in the process of boxing up all the boy's things, getting them ready for disposal.

"Please permit me to finish this," Daniel requested with a half bow of respect.

The woman looked uncertain for a moment. She smoothed her hands down her apron, considering. Then she nodded and reached into an apron pocket for a folded piece of paper, which she handed to him. "Tinyar meant this for you, Dr. Jackson." She stepped around him and left.

Daniel sat down on the little bed and opened it. Jack settled beside him, one hand resting lightly on Daniel's shoulder. The archaeologist smiled, pointing at an odd scribble. "He didn't know how to spell my name in their language," he observed. Quietly, he began to read aloud.

Fond Daniel,

When you read this, I will be Light. You will be free of all the bad things in your past. This is a good thing, so do not be sad. I had nothing and then you came. You loved me and I wanted to stay with you. I wish I could be your son now but I cannot. I wish we could have had many more days together but we had one. It was a great day Daniel. Now that I am Light I will always shine on you because you loved me. I love you too.

Malbin Tinyar of the Light

Carefully, Daniel re-folded the letter and slipped it into the pocket of his dress shirt. He kept his hand over it for a moment longer. "He thought he didn't have a choice," Daniel said softly. "He wanted to die, and then I gave him a reason to live. I brought him pain, Jack."

O'Neill's hand squeezed gently. "You loved him. That's all that matters, now."

Blinking back tears, Daniel nodded. "Will you help me collect his things? I wanna take them home with me."

"Sure."

It didn't take long to get everything together. Daniel found a picture that had been made of himself and Tinyar that last day, one that the boy put on his pillow. He slipped that into his pocket along with the letter and then hunted down the headmistress to give her instructions on what to do with Tinyar's things. When he finished, he led Jack outside, intending to go to the temple to check with the team on what progress they might have made.

That trip wasn't necessary. He stood on the lawn where he'd waved goodbye to Tinyar and looked up at the sky. The clouds parted and a ray of bright sunshine illuminated him, bathing him in golden light. Tinyar's words echoed in his mind, in the sound of that precious little-boy voice.

Now that I am Light I will always shine on you because you loved me.

Daniel lifted his hand skyward. "I love you, too, Tinyar," he said softly. Turning to Jack, he smiled softly. "Looks like Sam came through. Think the Messenetians will get the message?"

"They seem like pretty bright folks," Jack answered hopefully. He turned in step with Daniel and headed for the council hall. "No pun intended, of course. You know me and puns."

"Yeah. You live for 'em," Daniel grinned up at him, peace registering in his soul. He had lost a child loved for too short a time, but hope shone in the lightening sky that no more would die on this alien world. The Tau'ri had shattered many a belief system in their uncertain progress across the galaxy, leaving freedom from tyranny in their wake. It would be difficult, searching for something new to satisfy the Messenetians' spiritual needs but if it saved even a single life, Daniel Jackson believed it was a bargain well made.

* * *

"Don't touch that!" Daniel snapped, batting Jack's hand away from his face.

"The blindfold itches," complained the colonel. "Lemme scratch my nose, for cryin' out loud."

"Okay but no peeking." He glanced at his lover as he drove, making sure Jack didn't adjust the strip of black cloth tied over his eyes so he could see out from under it. Once O'Neill's hands were back in his lap, Daniel relaxed and turned his full attention back to the road.

"Where are we goin', anyway?" Jack carped.

"That's a surprise." Daniel glanced in the back seat of his classic car, eyeing the boxes and shopping bags full of Jack's personal things. He didn't have much, but he'd only been in that universe for a week and brought nearly nothing with him. Daniel just hoped he wasn't sending the wrong message by doing this. 

Pulling into the driveway, he put the car in park and switched off the ignition. Jack reached for his seatbelt and started to get out of the car. "Wait!" Daniel called. "Wait till I get there! I don't want you tripping over things you can't see."

"I can't see anything, Daniel, because I've got a fucking blindfold over my eyes," Jack growled. He remained seated in the car, waiting until his companion opened the door and, taking his hand, pulled him to his feet. 

Daniel took Jack by the elbow and led him back down the concrete driveway to the flagstone walk leading to the front door. Once he had Jack positioned for the best view, he stepped away, moving at an angle so he could see Jack's facial expression and not obstruct the surprise. Taking a deep breath, he let it out and said, "Take off the blindfold."

Jack obeyed. He looked behind Daniel. Then he made eye contact. "So? It's my house."

"Yeah. It is." Daniel felt himself grinning. He nodded.

"This is where I live, Daniel. It's not a surprise."

Daniel's smile faded. He'd been hoping for more of a reaction than that. He cleared his throat. "Um, you've been dead for a year, here remember? You left me this house in your will."

"Oh yeah." Jack's eyes went to the house. Wheels were turning. He looked at Daniel. "You kept it. But you didn't live here."

Old memories resurfaced, bringing the loss back fresh and new, and just as quickly the pain began to fade. "It hurt too much," he admitted, "but I couldn't let it go, either. I hired a maid to dust once a month, a gardener to take care of the grass, put in a security system to deter break-ins and kept up the utilities. Only I couldn't come here. Not without you."

"So you're giving it back," Jack assumed. "Does that mean I'm moving out of your place?"

Daniel cleared his throat again. "We have appearances to keep up, Jack. Everybody knows I've been getting the place ready for you. If you keep staying with me in my one bedroom apartment, people will talk. Someone will figure out we're sleeping together and your military career will be over."

"On the other hand, if you move into my two-bedroom house, no one will say a word," Jack countered thoughtfully. He reached for Daniel's shoulder as he headed for the front door.

"Sure they will. I figure the occasional overnight stay won't raise any eyebrows, but a regular thing would."

Jack shook his head. "Nope. You went off world without me and I made this brilliant speech about bein' your bodyguard and everybody saluted. They know I'll just be lookin' after my own, Daniel. Where you go, from now on, I go. Hammond's blessed it and everything."

Daniel frowned. "What did you say in that speech?"

A smile slipped across Jack's mouth as Daniel fitted the key into the lock. "That you were a magnet for trouble and you needed a keeper, Danny-boy. That's my job now. And I think your recent mission to the Missionaries proved my point."

"Messenetians."

"Whatever."

"Your stuff is in the car. We should probably bring it in."

"After we anoint the bed," Jack told him happily, "and the shower and the kitchen counter and the dining table..."

"And let's not forget the back porch, the couch and the upstairs deck," Daniel added, stepping into the entryway.

"Of course, some of those places will have to wait until after dark." Jack kicked the door closed and descended on Daniel's lips.

"Mmmm-hmmm," Daniel agreed. He pulled away with a soft, happy smile. "I need a keeper, huh?"

"Oh, yeah." Jack grabbed Daniel's ass with both hands and smashed their bodies comfortably close. "And I'm keepin' ya. You're mine, Daniel Jackson. You got that?"

"Yes, sir, Colonel O'Neill." Daniel saluted.

"Um, are your pants saluting me, too?" Jack glanced downward and grinned wickedly as he looked up. "Yup. Thought so."

"I just love a man out of uniform," Daniel teased. He turned and bolted for the stairs. "Race ya!"

Jack let him dash upstairs, grinning madly, and wandered into the kitchen. He eyed the counters and stood up against them. They were a little tall, so adjustments would have to be made to permit sex on them. He strolled into the dining area and put a hand on the table, giving it a shake to test its sturdiness. Satisfied that it would hold a couple hundred pounds of sweaty men, he moved on to the sofa. He was staring at the fireplace when Daniel finally came back downstairs, looking for him.

"Don't you want to make love?" he asked, a little hurt by the lack of pursuit.

"Of course," Jack answered with a slow smile. "I was just thinkin' and planning ahead. Do we have any lube upstairs?"

"I haven't exactly had a chance to buy some for here." He fished in his pants pocket. "I brought ours from my place." Holding the tube up for inspection, he waited for a response.

"We've got a couple days off for R and R, right?" Jack cocked his head and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Our orders are to rest and recuperate, straight from General Hammond." He tossed the Astroglide to Jack.

"Well, then, what say we lay in a fire, open up a bottle of champagne and start right here in front of the fireplace? After dark we can go up to watch the stars a little, maybe christen the deck, and then later after some more champagne, we'll call it a night and get some sleep."

"Jack, it's August."

"So I'll turn the AC down to winter," Jack countered. He grinned. "Besides, I love it when you're all sweaty and we slide together."

Daniel looked down at his pants. "I'll go adjust the air conditioner. You get the wood."

"That's the spirit."

Jack drew the curtains over the big picture window behind the sofa, headed out to the garage for a few sticks of wood, choosing pine and hickory for the scent, and carried it back to the living room. Placing the wood in the rack at the proper angle for a good slow burn, he put some tinder from the tinderbox beneath the wood, struck one of the extra long fireplace matches and set it ablaze. By the time the wood caught, he had his shirt off and was searching through the wine closet for champagne.

"There's one in the fridge," Daniel told him. "You're going to have a party tomorrow night. I had Sam and Teal'c bring a few bottles over while I was packing your stuff at my apartment. I carried it all in, by the way. It's in the foyer."

"You're so thoughtful," Jack returned playfully. "See, that's one of the things I love about you."

"Tease." Daniel's feet were bare. He was shucking off his pants and boxers, smiling broadly, eyes glinting with desire. Laying the garments aside, he came up to Jack wearing only his blue and white checkered shirt.

Jack reached for the buttons. 

Daniel caught at his hand and then let go. He looked guilty. Ashamed. Embarrassed.

Imagined pictures of Daniel's childhood scrolled through Jack's mind. He parted the plackets of the shirt slowly, knowing where to look for the first scar, so much pain written there on that lovely pale skin, most of it unnecessary. There were battle scars, too, earned on alien worlds and at the SGC, but Daniel never saw those. The only ones he ever noticed when he looked in the mirror were these small, round ones.

Jack's thumb brushed over one. He stared at it, thinking, wishing he could take the pain away.

Daniel's hand closed over his shirt, and he started to button it again. His face was suffused with color and he wouldn't meet Jack's eyes.

"I love you, Daniel," he said quietly.

The buttoning stopped. Daniel let go of his shirt and slowly moved his hands down to his sides. Head still bowed in shame, he stepped closer, wanting to be held.

Jack's hands went between them and he unbuttoned the shirt again. He eased it off Daniel's unresisting shoulders and let it drop to the floor. Jack moved half a step back so he could see Daniel's chest, raising his hands to touch the scars, one by one.

"This is part of who you are," Jack added softly. "It's not something you need to feel ashamed about. It wasn't your fault."

Daniel just nodded, but he didn't look up.

Knowing fingers probed a long, pink scar on Daniel's lower right side. "What's this from?" Jack asked, already sure of the answer.

"I had my appendix out."

"And this one?" Jack touched a ragged scar on the other man's upper shoulder.

"A Jaffa tried to take my arm off."

Four long parallel lines ran up one thigh to Daniel's hip. "These?"

"I was almost eaten by an alien animal."

"You'll have to tell me about that one sometime. Just not now."

Reaching up into Daniel's hair toward the back of his head, Jack probed for another scar he knew would be there. "And this one?"

"Reese threw me against a wall."

"These don't bother you." Jack lifted Daniel's chin with his fingertips, making the man look him in the eye. "Why should those?"

"These are battle scars," Daniel told him. 

"So are the others," Jack told him, "and as long as you carry the shame that monster instilled in you, you're still fighting the war. Don't let that bastard win, Daniel. They're battle scars, earned in the line of duty. Be as proud of them as you are of the others because you survived."

Not a muscle in Daniel's face moved, but the look in his eyes changed, lighting up his whole being. "Damn, you're good," he breathed in admiration. 

"This isn't psychoanalysis," Jack assured him tenderly. "This is love."

Daniel smiled. "I know, Jack. That's what I meant." His arms slipped around Jack's broad shoulders and pulled him into a kiss.

Together they descended to the blanket Daniel had fetched from upstairs, the younger man on his back, Jack sprawled half across him. For a long time they just worshipped each other with their mouths, lost in the movement of lips and tongues, the sharing of breath, tasting, drinking each other down. Heat from the nearby flames added to the fire smoldering inside them; sweat glistening on their skin.

Jack pulled away to look at his lover in the firelight, fingers tracing the curves of Daniel's face, moving down his throat to his chest. One by one he located the old wounds with his fingertips, the burns and the battle scars, tracing over them tenderly, massaging them, laving them with his tongue and blessing them with his lips. He listened for approval, waiting for Daniel to relax and let go of the darkness of his past.

Daniel's body undulated beneath him, a slow-motion dance of sensuality. Scar by scar, kiss by kiss, Daniel melted under the tender assault, Jack's name a breath of love on his lips. The sound was liberating, tearing down walls in Jack's soul that he hadn't even known existed. He loved this man beyond reason, beyond rules and regulations. Anything Daniel wanted, Jack was ready to give.

He rose up from Daniel's belly and settled himself alongside his hip. Catching Daniel's erection in his right hand, Jack gazed down into those amazing eyes. For a moment he just stared, lost in rapture. The heat in his hand reminded Jack what he was holding, letting his fingers skim slowly up and back down the warm satin of Daniel's cock. 

With a groan of approval, the younger man closed his eyes, intent on the sensation of touch rather than sight.

"Do you want a family, Daniel?" Jack whispered.

Those eyes opened, glazed with desire, uncertain what his ears had just heard.

"We could adopt, if you want a child to raise. Maybe even a Messenetian orphan, boy or girl. I'm easy."

"Jack..."

"Just think about it," Jack instructed softly. "If you want it, just tell me. We'll make it happen... together." He glanced down at his hand, sliding greedily along that long, thick shaft. He squeezed and heard a happily startled grunt. 

"Jack, wait." Daniel sat up and took his lover's hand, moving it away from his erection. "There's something I need to do." He got up from the blanket and left the room, returning a moment later with a sheaf of papers in his hand, neatly tied up with a black ribbon. He sat down cross-legged on the blanket and handed the papers over. "I wrote this... after Jack died, before you came. It's my first manuscript in years. Fiction, of course."

The top sheet was a title page in bold print. Dreaming the Gods by D. Nicholas Jackson. Jack untied the bow and unwound the ribbon, turning the title page. For Jack, the dedication read. Loved, lost and found.

O'Neill smiled. "I've never had a book dedicated to me before," he murmured in awe. "Thanks, Daniel. I'll read it later... Uh, I should tell you that I really like your books. Half the base is reading 'em now."

"I know. People are coming up to me for autographs. It's embarrassing." He smiled shyly and took the manuscript, setting it aside on the coffee table. "There's more, Jack."

Looking down, Jack noticed Daniel's cock was softening. "Um... Did I do something wrong?"

Daniel shook his head. "No. I have to tell you something important, so I want you to listen to me. Okay?"

"Sure." Jack was confused. Things had been going so well moments earlier and now they'd come to a screeching halt. He reached out to touch Daniel's face, but the man caught his hand and held it to his chest. "Lean back a little. Just kind of prop up on your hands."

Stretching his legs out in front of him, Jack did as he was told, watching Daniel's eyes. The younger man moved to sit beside him, thigh-to-thigh, face-to-face. Something was happening inside Daniel; Jack could see it gleaming in the depths of those azure eyes.

"You hope," Daniel said softly, his hand reaching up to cup Jack's cheek. "You want. You dream. But you don't know." He leaned closer, lightly kissing the corner of Jack's mouth and pulling back to make eye contact. "I want you to know."

His hand swept down, slowly smoothing over Jack's throat, tickling through the hair on his chest. Daniel's fingers combed through Jack's pubic hair, swirling in a gentle grip around the base of his erection. With maddening tenderness, Daniel's palm slid upward along the shaft.

"This time will be just for you," Daniel whispered. "Don't think about arousing me. Don't think about giving me pleasure. Be selfish, for a change. Take what I want to give you and don't worry about giving anything back. Just this once, let me love you. Feel everything, all for you. Okay?"

The look on Daniel's face was incredibly arousing, making Jack's heart beat faster. He nodded, so entranced by his lover's expression of intoxicated desire that he couldn't speak. His breath caught as Daniel squeezed him slightly, the sensation of pressure and heat deliriously wonderful.

Moving his hand away, Daniel stroked down Jack's thigh. With a light push, he indicated that he wanted Jack to spread his legs. Daniel lay between them on his belly, propped up on his elbows, his lips inches away from Jack's cock. He puckered and blew on it, the warm air flowing against that sensitive skin sending chills into Jack's groin. Daniel moved closer, touching the side of Jack's shaft with his cheek. He rubbed his face all over Jack's cock, and the sight was almost enough to make the older man lose control. He held back, waiting to see what Daniel would do next.

Turning his head, Daniel stroked the long fall of his hair across that hard column of flesh, caressing it, rubbing it, combing it through his silky tresses, bathing Jack's dick in the stuff. Feather light, smooth and warm and cool all at the same time, it was the most erotic thing Jack had ever seen or felt. Daniel was worshipping him and he felt that all the way to his core.

"I love you," Daniel whispered as he caressed himself against Jack's erection. "I have always loved you, even before we met. I've been waiting for you my whole life and now you're here. You love me, and I don't need anything but that." He turned and kissed that hot flesh, speaking softly against it, his eyes closed. "You're my light in the darkness, my shelter in the storm, the water in the desert of my soul. You're the balm to every wound I've ever had, the beginning and end of every journey. You're my breath, my nourishment and my rest. You're my life, Jack."

He opened his eyes and looked up.

Jack could hardly swallow past the lump in his throat. He watched as Daniel rose to his knees, eyes locked with Jack's. Work-roughened fingers took possession of his cock and stroked it while Jack looked into those eyes. Universes unfolded before him, filled with adventure, terror and boundless joy. All that mattered was there in Daniel's eyes and Jack felt himself falling, tumbling endlessly among the sea and the endless stars.

"Daniel," he breathed. He wanted to see, to keep looking, to watch that face and its mysteries forever but his body took control, tensing as need built up in him. Jack's eyes closed on their own and the sensation of Daniel's hand cradling his dick was more than he could bear. He groaned sharply as his climax struck, flinched as his hot semen splattered all over him, sighed as his orgasm began to ebb.

Hot wetness covered a small spot on his neck and Jack adjusted his position to brace himself on one hand. He caught Daniel's nape, his fingers lost in that magnificent mane, holding his lover to his throat as Daniel licked up the puddles of semen decorating Jack's torso. He watched as Daniel moved downward, saw the utter delight in the younger man's face as he licked and nibbled, cleaning Jack's body with his tongue.

Jack closed his eyes and remembered the feel of Daniel's hair against his cock.

"It's not enough," he whispered. "I need more."

Daniel moved to his knees, licking his lips. "Tell me," he begged softly. "I'll give you anything."

Nodding, Jack stared into those eyes that he loved so much. "I need you inside me." He reached for a cushion from the couch and pulled it down to the floor. Daniel fetched the Astroglide while Jack eased the cushion beneath his buttocks and lay back against it. At the last moment, he turned on his side as Daniel stretched out with him.

Jack lifted his upper leg, draping it over Daniel's waist. Daniel scooted closer, taking possession of Jack's mouth as his hand skimmed up the back of Jack's thigh. With infinite gentleness and patience, Daniel slipped one slick finger into Jack's ass, probing and exploring. Moaning his approval into Daniel's mouth, Jack rolled his hips, driving that exquisite finger deeper.

"All for you," Daniel whispered, breaking the kiss. "Anything you want, Jack." He slipped another finger inside, stretching his lover, tantalizing him with friction and rhythm.

"I want you," Jack growled. "I want you to fuck me until I can't stand up, Daniel. I want to fuck you till you scream. I want orgasm stains all over this house, in every room. I want to tie you up and fuck you, and then I want you to do it to me. I want to try everything, go wild with the fantasies. I want to go to Egypt and fuck you in a temple. I want to blow you at the top of the Eiffel- Fucking Tower. God, Daniel! I want you for the rest of my life. That's what I want."

"It's yours," Daniel moaned. "Oh, God, Jack! I never dreamed you'd be so..." He was shaking with need. He rolled Jack onto his back and covered him, asking with his eyes.

"Fuck me," Jack demanded harshly. "Hard and fast, Daniel. I want to feel you explode in my ass."

"Jesus," Daniel swore, grasping his cock and feeling for Jack's sphincter. "I don't want to hurt you. You're not ready yet."

"Make it hurt, dammit," Jack urged, grasping handfuls of Daniels hair. He was so wild with need he didn't care. He wanted it rough, wanted to feel the little pains afterward, reminders that he had been well and truly fucked by this beautiful man.

"Godohgodohgod," Daniel croaked. He shoved, sinking deeply.

Jack arched, his body instinctively moving away from the pain. His eyes closed and he sought out the sensation of heat, embraced it and wanted more. He pushed back, driving Daniel all the way in. "Oh, yes," he panted. "God, yes, Daniel. Fuck me." His eyes rolled closed for a moment, lost in the sensation of those powerful thrusts ramming into him. He had to see, had to look into those eyes, to see if Daniel was enjoying it.

Hurt gleamed back at him. Daniel was in pain, because he knew he'd hurt the man he loved. He didn't understand a desire for pain.

"I don't want you to hurt me, Daniel," Jack explained breathlessly. "I want your passion. I want you to want me so much you have to have all of me, right now."

"Yes," Daniel agreed. His brows pinched together slightly, still trying to figure this out. "I do. God, I need you so much, Jack."

"Not enough." Jack was pushing him. He could feel Daniel holding back, holding on, afraid to truly let go, even in a moment of passion. He relaxed, aware that Daniel's rhythm had not changed. He held himself above Jack, looking down on him, separate from him in that intimate moment. "Stop. Just fucking stop."

Jack pushed at him, trying to turn away. Daniel lay down on him, pinning him in place.

"What's the matter? What did I do wrong?"

"You don't want to give me what I want," Jack challenged, aware of the anger in his eyes, wanting Daniel to see it. He wanted to push, to make Daniel lose control. "You want to give me what you want. There's a helluva difference."

"I don't understand."

"I think you do. You're holding out on me, Daniel. I want it all. I want your soul jammed up inside me; only you won't give me that. You're afraid."

Daniel's heavy brows scrunched together. "I want to give you all of me. I just don't know how. Tell me how, Jack."

"You're all about control, Daniel," Jack said huskily, an edge of anger to his voice. "You're a big, strong guy and you're afraid of hurting people but you have to learn when to let go. If you're going to give me what I want, you have to get past the boundaries you set for yourself. Hurt me, if that's what I want. If it's too much, I'll stop you. Sometimes pain is necessary. It burns away resistance. This is a lesson you know, if you'll think about it. I don't want any walls up between us, Daniel. Tear them down for me, and when you're ready, I'll tear them down for you."

"I can't."

Jack's hands cupped Daniel's face tenderly. "You can. All you have to do is own me. Make me yours. That's what I want from you. Daniel, I know you have the power in you to do that. Just take me. Conquer me. Love me with all you are. Burn away the darkness and shine for me. I want you to live in the light. With me."

"I'm afraid."

"I am, too. I've never done this before and it scares the hell out of me. I just happen to think you're worth it."

Daniel's fingers stroked through his silver hair, his eyes studying Jack's face, thinking. Thinking hard. 

"Kiss me," Jack urged softly. His eyes closed as Daniel descended on his mouth, willing himself to be pliable, to accept, to take and let Daniel be the one in the lead, the one driving. The kiss deepened, intensified. Daniel demanded and Jack gave. Jack's hands threaded up into Daniel's hair. Daniel pulled them down and pressed Jack's wrists against the blanket.

He started to move, thrusting into Jack's body slowly, deeply.

Daniel pulled away from his mouth and looked down at him.

Jack saw the change in his eyes, the glittering need, the growing desire. It was beautiful, incandescent. Daniel's mouth set. His lips pressed firmly together. His fingers laced with Jack's and something hard settled into that beautiful face. 

It looked like ownership. Daniel Jackson was staking his claim, marking his territory. His thrusts shook Jack's bones, scooting him stroke by stroke off the cushion. Daniel frowned as he looked down into Jack's eyes, reached down and grasped the cushion and flung it away. He growled, baring his teeth, eyes gleaming.

"God," Jack breathed. He'd never seen anything so beautiful, so arousing. Something inside him sparked and blazed up. Daniel responded to it, letting go of Jack's hands, scooping his arms beneath Jack's back and gripping his shoulders. His thrusts deepened, speeded up, slamming into Jack's ass.

It hurt. Daniel was a wild man now, fingers digging into Jack's shoulders for better purchase. He roared with need, eyes closing as passion built to a fever pitch.

Jack couldn't breathe. His ass was on fire and so was his belly and heart. He watched in awe as Daniel shouted, felt the spasms in his lover's body as Daniel came, and when his orgasm faded and Daniel could open his eyes again, the feral look was still there.

"Mine," he growled, touching Jack's face with his fingertips. "All mine."

"Yeah," Jack agreed. "Wow. Be careful what you ask for, O'Neill." He grinned.

The wild animal vanished abruptly. "Are you okay?" Daniel asked gently.

"Damn, Daniel, can you fuck!" Jack whispered approvingly. "My ass may have to take a vacation for a couple days but we are so gonna break this house in. Wow!"

Daniel frowned. "I hurt you too much?"

Jack shook his head and grinned wider. "Juuuuuuust right, big guy. I know who owns me now." He reached up for a gentle kiss.

"And vice versa," Daniel breathed.

O'Neill shook his head. "Not yet. But you will." He glanced around the room. "Where'd I put that blindfold?"

"I'm not doing the blindfold, Jack," Daniel argued, pushing himself to a sitting position. "I've had more than enough of not seeing for a while, thanks."

Jack laughed, a dark and evil sound. "I'm not gonna put it over your eyes, Daniel," he promised. "I'm gonna tie you up with it."

Daniel's eyes got that deer-in-the-headlights look.

"We rest first, though. Have a little champagne. Lick the sweat off each other. There's plenty of time." Jack rolled to his feet, sorting through the shed clothes for that enticing strip of black cloth. "And I'll have to find something to use on your ankles, too, of course."

"Uh, Jack..."

"Yes, Daniel?"

"Just how kinky do you plan to get?"

Jack shrugged. "If we don't like it, we won't do it," he assured his lover. "Maybe we should make a list, which I figure you'll be really good at, since you must know about all sorts of stuff from your culture research."

"Um, I do, yeah. I just thought we'd go with a little straight sex for a while," Daniel challenged. "I mean, I've hardly blown the dust off my dick, you know. Recent former virgin, here." He gave a little wave.

"Daniel, in case you hadn't noticed, we are not straight," Jack shot back. "And I've got a long history of sex behind me. I mean, I was married for half my life, so there are a lot of things I want to try. Are you telling me you're turning down an educational opportunity here? That you don't want to explore new territory?" He grinned at his partner.

The naked archaeologist got the cutest pout on his lips and made Jack want to kiss him all over again. "Well, since you put it that way..."

"Good. Now help me find that blindfold. I have a scientist to tie up."

FINIS


End file.
